INT. DEEP FRIED KILL RESTAURANT - MIDDLE OF
5:30PM - MARCH 28
Mulder, Krycek, Scully, Marita, Skinner and
Doggett are seated at a booth. A scrawny old waitress stands before
them, holding up her pen and note pad to take their order. Her glasses
are practically falling off her face and she still squints, she is
wearing a hair net. We'd like to note here that no one has a restaurant
menu before them.
(her hand shaking as if she's on caffeine)
May I take your order?
(are you stupid lady?)
Umm... I think we need
to see the menu-
(smacks her chewing gum)
Ain't got 'em.
OK. I'll have a double cheeseburger.
You mean the Road Kill Special?
Mulder grosses out, and makes a gagging sound.
(off their looks)
In fact... that's all we
got ladies and gents...
And she walks off. Krycek leans in and
I could kill her and no
one would know...
Marita actually smacks Krycek across the face.
(oh grow up)
You can be so insensitive, Alex.
Mulder starts pointing at Marita and Krycek
rather excited. Mulder leans over to Scully.
She called him Alex!
Scully leans over to Skinner.
That would explain the start
of the nine o'clock phone calls...
Skinner leans over to Doggett.
They're going out.
Doggett doesn't understand where they got
that idea from, he's confused.
Doggett looks over at Marita and Krycek, how
in the heck do Mulder, Scully and Skinner figure that... all Marita
and Krycek have been doing on this pointless road trip is fight...
not exactly romance material.
Are you two involved?
Marita and Krycek shut up and look at him dumbfounded,
how'd he know?
Five minutes pass, no one has said anything.
Waitress Kristi gives all of them their Road Kill Specials, she spits
into Mulder's and winks at him. They all look at their food, stand
up and leave, leaving behind only a $1 tip... only because once everyone
started leaving, Krycek took the rest of the tip, leaving only the
EXT. DEEP FRIED KILL RESTAURANT
They are all walking back to their rental mini-van.
So when did we last stop for gas?
When we plotted to-
SHUT IT Spooky!
Last one in has to drive!
Mulder, Krycek, and Skinner run to the van,
following Marita. Scully and Doggett walk behind them, Scully takes
out the keychain and uses the remote lock to unlock the van. The kids
(Mulder, Marita, Krycek, and Skinner) pile in, laughing. Doggett and
Scully share a look.
Are you sure you want to drive
through Mulder's caffeine high?
I can do it if you want.
I'll be fine, but thanks for offering.
They get into the front seat, Scully adjusts
the seat and the mirror. Mulder is boucing like a freak in the very
back seat next to Skinner, who is laughing. Scully pulls out of the
parking lot just as Waitress Kristi runs out with a bazooka and shoots
TIME CUT - 7PM (1 1/2 HOURS LATER)
Scully is still driving, Doggett is attempting
to get some sleep, since he will be driving through the night. He's
resting his head on the window, which isn't all that comfortable since
his head is vibrating on the glass. Scully hits a bump and Doggett's
head hits the glass hard. Doggett decides to abandon the glass and
just let his head rest on the back of the seat.
"Nothing Broken But My Heart" by Celine
Dion is playing, Scully has brought her Celine Dion CD collection.
She seems tense and irritated... and with good reason.
In the back, Mulder is crawling over Marita
so he can secretly go tug on Doggett's hair, he tugs and quickly covers
his mouth to keep himself from laughing but he can still be heard.
(rather loud and child-like)
He did it!
Skinner is pointing at Mulder. Suddenly the
side door that Mulder is near flies open! And Mulder flies out! He
grabs onto the door to save himself... Scully is driving so fast,
that Mulder is not dragging and appears to be flying like a cartoon.
(overly loud and dramatic)
(making no attempt to stop/mother-like)
See kids, this is why we
wear our seatbelts.
EVERYONE IN BACK
Scully pull over!!
Mulder continues screaming and occasioinally
spitting out bugs that have flown into his mouth.
Scully pulls over to the side of the road, Mulder
is now dragging on the ground. The gang in back can't stop laughing.
Doggett races out of the van and to Mulder who has rolled down into
a ditch. Scully puts the van into park and gets out.
Mulder looks at him woozy.
Call me Fox...
Scully kneels down next to Mulder.
Mulder don't move. Let me
make sure nothing's broken.
She starts checking him, and realizes Mulder
has twisted his ankle.
Doggett go get the first aid
kit. I'll need rubbing alcohol,
and ace bandages for his ankle.
Shouldn't we get him out
of the ditch first?
Good idea. (beat) Walter
can you help us here.
Mulder tugs on Scully's shirt, she looks
at him to see what's wrong. Skinner doesn't come out to help.
(woozy/doofy smile on face)
I lurve you Scully...
Scully pats his head... the poor thing...
I love you too, Mulder. Now
Doggett and I are going to
carry you back to the van,
don't put your left ankle
on the ground.
Doggett kneels next to Mulder and Mulder
wraps his arm over his shoulder, Scully does the same on his other
side. They carefully carry him up to the van. Krycek comes flying
out of the van, almost knocking them down.
Out of my way! I've got to piss!
Krycek disappears from view to do as nature
intended. Mulder sits on the opening of the side door of the van as
Scully cleans his wounds and bandages up all his cuts and scrapes.
Krycek returns and Skinner leaves momentarily.
Scully wraps Mulder's left ankle. We hear Marita mutter something
about how she wishes she was a guy.
Thank you Scully. I don't
know what I'd do without you...
Mulder puckers up his lips and closes his
eyes, hoping Scully will kiss him. Skinner returns, and Doggett takes
this opportunity to relieve himself. Skinner sees Mulder's face.
Too late Mulder. She's
all mine and you know it.
Mulder opens one eye suspiciously, what
does Skinner mean... he looks to Scully for guidance.
Snowman... You remember the
snowman? (beat/off his look)
Oh yeah... their secret engagement...
Mulder pouts. Doggett returns, oddly holding
a puppy beagle in his arms.
Hey, look who I found.
You found your lost pet?
The dog licks Doggett's face.
No... I think he was abandoned...
Marita pokes her head out to see the puppy.
He's so cute!
The dog squirms in Doggett's arms, he laughs.
Restless little guy, aren't ya?
Mulder is helped back to the back of the van
by Krycek and Skinner. Scully gets back into the drivers seat. Doggett
places the dog on his seat and closes the side door. He gets into
his seat and holds the dog on his lap. Scully drives on.
You're not really keeping
that dog... are you?
Doggett looks back at him.
Well I didn't want to leave
him out there alone...
Yeah, well he stinks.
Doggett turns around and shows Krycek the
puppy's cute little happy face, and his very own pouty lip expression...
that says "why don't you like this cute little doggie?".
Oh... so cute... now leave it.
Well I think he's cute. What
do you have against doggies, Alex?
I don't wanna talk about it.
Marita takes the puppy in her arms.
But look at him Alex.
He loves you...
No he doesn't.
The dog jumps out to Krycek and repeatedly licks
God, get this mut off me!
TIME CUT - 8:30PM
Marita is peacefully sleeping, Krycek gave the
puppy back to Doggett and is watching the TV that is built into the
van... Tom & Jerry is playing, he's quite amused. Suddenly
Mulder grabs Skinner's Gobstoppers.
Give me my candy back!
Mulder laughs as he pours all the frickin' Gobstoppers
into his mouth. Then he starts spitting them out at Marita, making
machine gun noises. Marita screams continuously. The dog starts howling,
Skinner for no reason is making monkey noises (probably the caffeine).
And inspired by all the immature racket... Krycek starts tickling
Marita, she squeals as she laughs.
(loud/immitating a monkey)
Oh! Oh! Oh! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Up front in the adult section, Scully is about
to loose it... she's more than irritated, she's being pushed to the
edge of insanity... Doggett is irritated too.
Guys, can you please be quiet?
The racket continues... They didn't hear her.
Please... I need to concentrate.
Shut up you whore!
Doggett turns around with an intense glare on
his face and yells at him in drill sargent mode... maybe this will
(yelling at top of lungs)
Shut up or I'll be forced to
go back there and make you shut up!
Marita whimpers (she's scared), Scully checks
Doggett out by the cornor of her eye... no wonder she always wanted
to be with Marine types... they look good when they are angry...
I am sick of your whining (beat)
You're crying, you childish acts,
and your monkey business! (beat) This
is not a circus, you are FBI Agents...
and I will not tolerate this!
They all shut up and freeze in their last assumed
positions. "Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion plays. Skinner still
has one arm raised above his head, the other tickling himself. Mulder
still has his lips puckered like a machine gun, a Gobstopper falls
out, and pathetically falls to the ground. Krycek's fingers are still
on Marita's stomach, her foot in his face. Doggett sits back... finally
peace and quiet. He pats the puppy's head to calm it down, the dog
got scared. Scully is driving, kind of in a trance... an odd smile
on her face.
I'm sorry Agent Scully.
She smiles at him.
Quite alright, Agent Doggett.
TIME CUT - 30 MINUTES LATER
Everyone is still in the same position... more
Gobstoppers have fallen out of Mulder's mouth with every bump they
hit in the road.
(breaking the silence)
Sir... excuse me... but I have to go.
No one answers from the front. Marita starts
crying. After a beat, they pass a McDonalds 5 mile sign.
I'll stop in about 5 minutes.
As Scully pulls into the McDonalds parking
lot, everyone stretches out and gets out of the van. Mulder unknowingly
turns to Doggett and asks:
Is my tongue rainbow colored?
He sticks his tongue out and then realizes he's
asked Doggett, who is looking at him unamused, he falls over to hang
onto Skinner and is helped into the restaurant... limping...
Doggett is waiting in line with Mulder, Krycek,
and Skinner. Mulder is debating over whether or not he wants a Happy
Meal or #5 Super Sized, he's hanging on the shoulder's of Krycek and
Skinner, levitating his left ankle.
In the woman's restroom, Scully and Marita are
washing their hands. Marita takes out a marker and returns to a stall,
Scully follows her, wondering what she's doing. She sees that Marita
is writing: "For a good time, call Fox Mulder".
Scully grabs the marker before Marita can write
down the phone number. They leave the restroom, the guys are waiting
to go with their food, Mulder decided to get a Happy Meal. They all
exit and get into the van. Scully hands the keys over to Doggett and
gets in on the passenger side. The puppy jumps off the seat and sniffs
at the bag of food.
Hey, we need to get him some
food... the poor thing, he
must be starving.
Marita reaches into the cooler and hands over
a bottle of water.
(looking out window before pulling out)
Well I see a grocery
store down the street.
Scully is holding the puppy in her arms, allowing
it to drink water from the water bottle.
CUT TO: 10PM
They are back on the highway. The puppy has
fallen asleep on a really old pillow that for some odd reason Mulder
wanted to bring... funny how things work out.
Everyone's caffeine fix must have worn off...
either that or it's the fact that Doggett is driving, so all is quiet.
Scully? Can you pass me some
more Tylenol? My ankle hurts...
Scully opens up the glove compartment and takes
out some Tylenol PM and hands it to Krycek who hands it to Mulder.
Marita starts rummaging in her bag...
What are you looking for honey?
Marita pulls out her 2 piece pajamas, sweatpants
and unicorn t-shirt that has some glitter on it.
Guys, please look away. I
want to change into some
With that Mulder covers his eyes, and peeks.
Skinner squints his eyes to give the illusion that he's not watching
and Doggett re-angles the rear view mirror and glances up now and
then. Marita changes her pants first, as she takes off her shirt,
Mulder giggles. Krycek who's been watching this whole time, turns
around and hits him over the head.
Stop that you idiot.
She's my woman.
Doggett glances back, catches a glimpse of Marita
putting on her unicorn t-shirt, he coughs, a bit embarrassed.
Come on guys, let's think
about getting some rest.
Scully turns around and sees Krycek sneak a
small kiss on Marita's cheek. Her eyes fall on Skinner, she watches
him for a moment, wondering why he hasn't said much to her this whole
Skinner looks at her, not exactly the most
friendly expression on his face.
Could you reach in the back
and hand me my sweatpants and shirt.
Skinner does as asked, he tosses up her gray
sweatpants and army design tank top.
I'm gonna quickly change too,
I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't watch.
Agent Scully, you're in my peripheral vision.
Just ignore me then...
Scully changes right in the front of the van.
In the back, Skinner is covering Mulder's eyes, and Krycek and Marita
are making out in a horizontal position... Doggett remains focused
on the road ahead of him, unsuccessfully ignoring his peripheral vision,
he rubs the back of his neck and shifts his postion in the seat.
Ok, I'm done.
She looks behind her... yep, Marita and
Krycek must be back together.
Scully throws her clothes back to Skinner. He
starts to fold them nicely... he lifts up her black bra.
(what the hell)
You took this off too?
Doggett looks in the rear view mirror to see
what Skinner is refering to. Ok then! He gets even more uncomfortable.
Well I can't be comfortable with
that on while I sleep...
She's got a point there...
And we hear Krycek undo Marita's... hmmmm...
You two behave back there.
Krycek sits up abruptly, afraid that Doggett
will yell again.
Skinner taps Krycek on the shoulder and hands
him a pillow.
Stop encouraging us, Skin Man...
It's not for you, Alex.
It's for Dana.
Krycek hands it to Scully. She doesn't
attempt to sleep just yet, unlike everyone else in the back. Skinner
is handing out pillows. Krycek places one behind his head, Marita
rests her head on his chest and he wraps his arm around her... Skinner
and Mulder sleep away from eachother, as would be expected.
It starts to rain. After about 15 minutes, Scully
is trying to sleep, but can't she's still wondering why Skinner seems
so distant... Everyone else is finally asleep. Doggett yawns and rummages
through Scully's CDs. He picks up Celine Dion's "Let's Talk About
Love" and puts on the song "My Heart Will Go On" from Titanic.
It starts playing. Scully hears this, and finds it cute that Doggett
likes the song.
Scully turns around to face Doggett, she just
watches him for about a minute, he doesn't notice. Doggett seems very
happy... he glances over at her and realizes she's awake. He gets
embarrassed, he's listening to classified "chick" music.
(quiet so not to wake everyone)
Agent Scully... I didn't realize
you were awake... I didn't mean to
use your CD without permission.
Scully laughs a tired laugh.
That's ok... (she sits up) You
must really like that movie...
Well James Cameron did
an excellent job with it...
...Billy Zane... he was my favorite.
(happy someone will talk Titanic with him)
His character was my favorite... had
the most depth... he was the most
interesting character to watch.
Yeah, I think his character
truly was in love with Rose.
Finally! Someone that can see
that he loved her.
Little do they know, but Skinner is awake,
listening in on this conversation... he's jealous but doesn't say
anything to them... just listens.
That was one of the saddest parts
of the film. I felf so bad for Cal...
I love how through the whole movie,
he's made out to be the uncaring
"bad guy" and later, we see him
cutting one of the boats loose to help other people.
He looks at Scully, she's smiling at him, a
fresh smile that he's never seen before, he smiles back and then turns
his attention back to the road. They are silent for awhile... as the
song continues. The rain starts to pour down harder.
...You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on...
There is a flash of lightening followed by a
hollow crash of thunder that wakes up the puppy. It starts to whimper.
Scully picks him up and comforts him. Dogget turns off the CD and
tunes into a radio station. Scully looks at him curiously.
Tornados are know to pop up now
and then out in the midwest...
(attempting a joke)
Like the Wizard of Oz...
He smiles at the lameness of that.
In the back, Marita wakes up.
Did I hear thunder? I don't
like being out in the middle
of nowhere in s-storm...
Don't worry, we're just
under a tornado watch
When conditions are right for
a severe storm to produce a tornado.
Tomatoes... storms produce tomatoes?
Oh... what time is it?
There is a flash of lightening and the
winds pick up and Doggett decides to pull off to the side of the road.
(looks at sky/concerned)
We'll just sit this out for
awhile... I'd put on your shoes
just in case...
Well if there would be a tornado,
we'd have to get out of the van and
to the lowest area... In our case, that
would be the ditch outside.
Mulder worriedly looks down at his ankle.
There's probably nothing
to worry about Mulder.
Doggett turns up the radio.
WEATHER MAN (V.O)
... about 5 miles south of Salina.
If you are in that remote area, seek
shelter. Repeating. A tornado warning
has been issued for Salina, please
seek shelter immediately.
So where exactly are we?
Suddenly they hear a tornado siren go off.
Must be close.
Krycek is looking out the front window,
there is a flash of lightening, he sees the tornado funnel.
Holy shit! There it is!
Everyone panics and scurries out of the
van, upon exiting the van, they are drenched. The doors slam shut.
In the ditch, Marita is crying, they are all lying down, the wind
is causing the rain to fall on them as if from buckets. The dog barks.
Scully and Marita are in the middle of the guys. Doggett holds the
dog. Skinner has his arm over Scully's back, she's covering her head
with her hands as are Krycek and Marita... they haven't noticed, but
Mulder is still inside the van... banging his fists on the back window,
yelling at them. Suddenly Krycek stands up.
(yelling at top of lungs)
Mulder's still in there! I've
got to save my buddy!
Krycek runs against the wind of the approaching
tornado and opens the door, behind him, Marita, Scully and Skinner
run. Doggett remains in the ditch.
(looking up at them)
Get back here!
Krycek and Skinner are trying to lift Mulder
without success. Marita and Scully are watching the tornado approach
Alex! It's gonna get us!
She clings onto Scully.
He slams the side door shut and climbs to the
driver seat and shifts the car into drive and takes off.
What about Doggett?!!
The noise from the tornado is incredible, debris
flies above Doggett, he slightly raises his head, right in time to
see the van drive straight toward the tornado. The tornado recklessly
picks up the van and carries it off out into the middle of a field.
About a half mile away, the tornado weakens and the van is thrown
out. Doggett watches as the van lands upside down, the roof crushes
in and there is a slight beat. Doggett closes his eyes, so he doesn't
have to watch what comes next. The van EXPLODES!
The wind dies down as the tornado moves on...
Doggett lies in the ditch, holding the dog close
to him. The "Oh my god, they got themselves killed by a frickin' tornado."
look is on his face.
We PAN UP holding on Doggett lying in the ditch
as we go higher and higher above him, we see the remaining flames
that come from the van... no way anyone could have survived that...
we go higher and higher... and higher... raising into the heavens...
FADE TO BLACK:
TO BE CONTINUED...