"Fox & Rat" Virtual Series - Season Ten


Title: "Tug of War"

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Series: FRVS - Episode #206

Written by: Cassie

Edited by: Claudine

Classification: humor, drama

Rating: PG-13

Air Date: 16 September 2017

Date Written: 16-17 December 2016, 13-14 April 2017

Summary: In a sequence of events from 1976 to 1985, life hits Doggett and Scully in unexpected ways.

Disclaimer: "The X-Files" and its characters belong to 20th Century FOX Broadcasting. If you recognize it, it's not our own creation. Original characters belong to Cassie and Kristi (FRVS). "Star Wars" belongs to George Lucas.

Feedback: foxandratvs@gmail.com

Archiving: "Fox & Rat" Virtual Series, and Semper Fi only. If you would like to include any of our episodes in your fanfic archive, please contact us at: foxandratvs@gmail.com

Author's Note: Sometimes the actions of these characters are cartoonish in nature. If you actually think that following their horrible example is a good thing to do, we are not responsible for your lack of common sense. The personalities of the characters within the world of "Fox & Rat" are not those you know from "The X-Files" television series. We have warped them and given them a common past, immature behavior and a sense of humor.

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FRVS YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbY7NIW87ZOWfhJz7kP9CgA




Today is the day before Knowle Rohrer’s ninth birthday. And for his birthday present, his friend, Monica Reyes, decided to take him across the border to visit with her grandmother, a woman they all know as Grandmama Reyes. Of course, Knowle likes her grandmother, but man! He’s turning nine! It’s his last birthday in his single digits! He hopes John Doggett (already nine years old) got him something good! Like a water gun that looks like a real gun, or military fatigues that he can fit into!

Knowle smirks, Monica made John come along for this trip too.

It’s a hot summer day, and Knowle, Monica, John, and Grandmama Reyes are sitting in a circle outside of her “mud hut.” They are all holding hands, and both Grandmama Reyes and Monica have their eyes closed.

Knowle and John do not.

Now, Knowle knows that Monica’s grandmother is a strange woman, who doesn’t like to conform with the rest of society, but she could at least get a window air-conditioning unit like his parents have?! But no, she’s one "with nature," and wants them to feel "with nature" too.

Knowle wipes his brow with the shoulder of his white Tshirt. He gives John a look. He looks miserable too.

And you all know… how
I know… the things… that I know…

John Doggett, who is wearing an army green US Marines Tshirt, gives Grandmama Reyes a look, full of doubt about whatever it is that she’s talking about. It’s probably something mystical, or having to do with ghosts, or vampires, or some other ridiculous thing that doesn’t really exist.

Actually, Grandmama, we don’t
know how you know the things you know.

Monica (age 8) squeezes John’s hand really, really hard.

Ow! Mon’, stop it.

Shut up, John.
She’s magical.

Grandmama Reyes opens her eyes and looks at Monica and John. An exchange like this between them too often leads to a fight.

Do you or do you not want me
to ask the ancestors about your futures?

I thought you said you already
can see what happens in the future.

Maybe I do, and maybe I don’t.
(beat) But I like to do a séance
to contact loved ones who have
passed, to ask them for hints.

Knowle quickly closes his eyes as he sees Grandmama Reyes turn her head to look at him. He likes Monica, like when Monica makes them play “house” he is always her husband. Sometimes John plays her husband, and that always makes Knowle a little jealous. One day, Knowle wants her to be his girlfriend. He hopes that she believes that he believes in the power of the Reyes family ancestors because his eyes are now closed.

I saw that, Knowle. (beat)
This is my granddaughter’s
birthday gift to you, a view
into your future, why do you
disrespect my gift like this?
(looks at John) You too, Johnny.

Come on, guys! This is
really important to me.

Ok, let’s do this.

Knowle elbows John, to let him know he better go along with this now.

Knowle takes hold of Grandmama’s hand on his left side, and John’s hand on his right. He closes his eyes. He wants to know so much about his future. He wants to know if his dad will ever stop beating his mom. He wants to know if he’ll get to go to high school like all the cool, older kids. He wants to know if self-studying other languages at his young age will pay off later down the road (he’s currently learning Russian because of how important the Cold War seems to be). He wants to know who will get married first him, or John, and who will be his wife! He hopes it’ll be Monica, but maybe even Shannon McMahon (who was lucky enough that her dad didn’t let her come with them to Grandmama's).

He feels bad for Shannon, only four years ago Shannon came home from school and found her mom locked inside the family car in the garage, with the exhaust pipe stuffed closed. Shannon had broken the window of the car only to find her mother dead. A suicide.

Shannon was only four years old.

After her mother’s suicide they didn’t see much of Shannon. Word on the streets (aka the local park and playground) was that Shannon took her mother’s death very hard. When she finally started hanging out with them again, she acted like nothing had happened, but she had changed.

Shannon had been an outgoing girly girl. She loved dresses, playing with her mother’s makeup, and collected dolls and stuffed animals. After her mother’s death, she became a tomboy. She threw all her dolls and stuffed animals away. She threw away all her dresses, and she made her dad get rid of her mother’s makeup. She went from liking to play “house” (with John as her husband, sometimes Knowle) to wanting to play “war” or “bootcamp.” Heck, at their young ages he and John had no idea what “bootcamp” was!

(reading his mind?)
Don’t worry about, Shannon, Knowle.
In time she will find someone who
will stabilize her. She will have years
of a crazy life, and crazy love life, but
things will get good for her.

Knowle opens one eye, how in the world did Grandmama know he was thinking about Shannon?

The ancestors are showing me… they’re
showing me the letters B… it’s very blurry.
This message is for Monica… B… M…
another M… or maybe it’s a W… and… F.

A BMW is in Monica’s, F, for future?

What’s a BMW?

Grandmama Reyes pauses as if confirming the letters with the ancestors she’s communicating with.


What does it mean?

It is in your future. Perhaps a
person, or the name of a pet-

(trying to pronounce)
Bmwuf? Boomwoof?

Perhaps a company you will
work for, or the initials of
your future pet donkey.

Monica curls her lower lip, and looks at Grandmama’s garden where Grandmama’s pet donkey, Toby, is eating flowers.

But I want Toby…

Knowle perks up, he thinks he’s solved it!

Be my wife first! B.M.W.F!

SUDDENLY! Grandmama bursts out her next message from the ancestors!

Mir! Mir! Mir!

Grandmama takes hold of Knowle’s hand, her eyes are wide and wild! Knowle, quite frankly, is a little bit scared.


Knowle’s brain starts racing, trying to figure out what “Mir!” could mean. It’s obvious that it has something to do with him and his future.

You know, she’s not actually
saying anything specific, which
means she’s lying, and making things up.

Mir means “world” and “peace”
in Russian, so… I will have world peace?

I would need a full name and then
I’d actually have to meet any person
that Grandmama says I’m going to know in
order to believe in Grandmama's mumbo jumbo.

Monica is gawking at Knowle, she’s so impressed that he knows Russian. She very seriously places her hand on his shoulder and looks him in the eye.

You are so smart.

She hugs him, then kisses him on the cheek. Grandmama smiles at them, holding her hand over her heart, wondering how long it will take them to realize that “Mir” stands for M.I.R., Monica Isabella Reyes. She only threw BMWF into the mix to stir things up a lot once they meet Bradley Markus Westley Follmer in high school, up north, in Lake Placid, New York.

While this Brad Follmer is a really sweet boy, and later a very nice man, he has other wild and crazy things in store for his future once the aliens try to invade the planet in 2006. Actually, 12 May 2007, will turn out to be a tragic and a really, really weird day for him. His future will not always include Monica.

Grandmama shifts her attention back to the loud-mouthed, skeptical, Johnny Jay Doggett, as he continues to scoff at her psychic abilities. A full name he wants?! A full name he’ll get!.

She looks right at John, right into his nine year old blue eyes.

Ok, Johnny Jay…


Grandmama scoots over to be closer to him. She doesn’t hold his hands to perform her psychic reading. She speaks to little Johnny Jay Doggett bluntly.

Dana Katherine Scully. (beat)
Later Dana Katherine Doggett.


Dana. Katherine. Scully. (beat) You
will spend a very, very long life with
her. She will marry you, and take your
family name. (beat) You’ve already met
her once, in passing. And you will run
into her four more times before becoming
a permanent part of her life.

Behind him, John hears Monica gasp in amazement at the fact her Grandmama knows the full name of the girl John is going to marry.

That’s bullshit!
You made that up!

Monica’s virgin ears! She quickly covers her ears with her hands! Knowle smiles, John’s pushing the boundaries with Grandmama Reyes! Awesome!

Did I? (beat) You met her once
in June 1973, at the San Diego
Zoo, when Monica snuck into
the polar bear exhibit…

Grandmama waits for John to try to remember this, but because he’s afraid of this Grandmama mumbo jumbo being for real, he fights the urge to remember that day.

But he does remember it. He remembers it well. He and Knowle were standing looking down at the polar bear exhibit. Monica had been between them, but since she’s so short, they didn’t notice when she disappeared. They were confused when everyone around them started gasping, and screaming, and then they saw Monica (at the tender age of 5) walking carefully towards one of the large polar bears in the exhibit.

John remembers feeling someone take hold of his hand, and he looked down and saw a little red-head girl, maybe about three or four years old, she had tears in her eyes as she looked up at him, holding his hand. He recalls how she snuggled up next to him and asked him if he was “safe.” He told her not to worry and that the kid who was now hugging the large polar bear (as the zoo personnel showed up with tranquilizer guns) is one of his friends, and that animals love her and she wouldn’t get hurt.

The little red-head insisted she needed to run away from home, and tugged on his arm to try to lead him away with her. Eventually the little girl’s mother came and scooped her up in her arms, and scolded her for running off. John felt bad, but he was six years old, what could he do? He kept his eye on the little red-head until she and her mother were out of sight. Then he turned his attention back to Monica just as she jumped in front of the polar bear and got herself hit by a tranquilizer dart.

John does his best to shake his memory of that little girl from his mind. He doesn’t want to let on to Grandmama that he remembers her. Grandmama smiles at him. She can read little John Jay Doggett like a book.

I see you remember.

With that, little John Doggett stands up, throwing his arms up in the air to dismiss what Grandmama has told him. He stomps away from them, heading down the hill towards the small town Grandmama lives near in Chihuahua. He’ll go find his parents who are shopping instead, they won’t make up fake names of some girl he’ll marry one day. And who needs girls to marry anyway? He’ll do just fine on his own. Dana Katherine Scully, pffft! No such person! He angrily shuffles his feet, and kicks up dirt on his way down the hill.

(under his breath)
Dana Katherine Scully…

When he’s old enough he’ll date Monica, maybe he’ll even marry Monica! That is if Knowle doesn’t try to live by “be my wife first” thing he came up with. Hmmph! Dana Katherine Scully… he looks back behind him to see if anyone is following him, they aren’t. He softens the expression on his face.

Should he try to remember that name? Dana Katherine Scully… No, John, if you wound up married to any Dana, you know Grandmama would rub it in that her psychic abilities were real, and you can’t have that! Psychics are fake! He’ll avoid all girls named Dana, from here on out, no dating anyone named Dana.

But… Dana Katherine Scully… dang it! He’s starting to wonder if she is real, and if she was that little red-head girl he saw briefly at the San Diego Zoo a few years ago. What if Grandmama is right, and that little girl ends up being the girl he’ll one day marry? He’d be able to say that he met his wife when he was only six years old! He needs to write this all down so he can’t ever forget… Not that he could forget her name at this point. He keeps repeating it in his head... Dana Katherine Scully… it really is a pretty name… Dana Katherine.


20 June 1977

I’m so glad we’re back home. I hate visiting family in San Diego. Hate. it. Actually, hate doesn’t even begin to describe how I really feel.

I told mom what Uncle Steve did to me, and she told me that I was being silly, and making things up. I’m not! And I didn’t make things up all those other times either! I’m 7 years old. I shouldn’t know about those types of things! I want to run away from home. I hate my family, and they hate me back. I wish daddy were home now, he always listens to me. I hear mom coming up the stairs. I better hide you, if she found this she’d-

Seven year old, Dana Scully, slams her diary closed and shoves it under the pillow on her bed just as her bedroom door opens. Her older sister, Melissa, pokes her head in.

You ok, Dana? You and
mom didn’t talk the whole
flight home.

As badly as Dana wants to tell someone what Uncle Steve did to her, she’s not exactly sure how to describe it, and if she could, she’s too embarrassed to say it aloud anyway. Her mom told her over and over again that grown men don’t like little girls, and don’t touch little girls in the way that she said he did. She’s so confused! If men don’t do those things, did they really happen to her, or were those things part of her imagination?

I was sleepy.

Melissa sees Dana’s diary poking out from under her pillow.

You better hide that before
mom sees it. You know how
she feels about art.

Melissa thinks Dana has a doodle notebook.

It’s not art. It’s my diary.

Art is expression, isn’t that
what you do in your diary?
Express your thoughts and feelings?

I guess…

Ok, Melissa didn’t think it was a doodle notebook. Dana wraps her diary in both of her arms protectively.

Can I read it?

That question scares Dana. She always figured her diary would be something only she knew about, and only she read. Why would Melissa want to read it?


Why not?

It’s private.

In the past, mom has used Melissa to tattle-tale on her. Dana is hesitant to want to tell Melissa anything of the truth.

Are you spying on me for mom?

Melissa’s eyes go wide, and her face goes red. Dana’s jaw drops! Her sister is a spy for their mom!

Get out of my room, Missy!

Dana throws her diary across the room, and pushes her sister toward the door. Once she manages to get her in the hallway, she shuts the door, and struggles to push her dresser in front of it to keep her out, to keep everyone out.

She slides her back down the wall and sits with her arms around her knees. She sobs. All she wants is for her daddy to come back at home, and everyone else to go away. She may be seven years old, but she knows that she deserves a family who actually loves her, and a family that cares for her. She wants that family NOW!

Determined, she wipes her tears with the back of her hands, and goes over to her ballet pink mirrored vanity chest. She sits down, and pulls out a spiral notebook and a pencil and starts writing.

Dear Future Husband,
Right now I don’t know who you are, but if you are reading this letter I know that I trust you, and that you love me. Thank you. Thank you for being my family. Thank you for listening to me, and for believing in me. Thank you for caring. I know I won’t let you read this, or my diary, until I know you can be trusted with my heart. Or maybe until we’ve been married for a long, long time. I find it hard to trust people, and I know it probably took me a long time to trust you. I’m sorry it took so long, but I had to know for sure you wouldn’t hurt me like others have hurt me. I’m sure we both do stupid things in life, but that’s life, that’s who we are. It’s what makes us who we are, our mistakes. And I love you. I love you with all my heart.

Dana pauses. She feels like she should give a name to her future husband. She looks around her room for inspiration. Her doll, Clara? No. Her pet goldfish, Goldie? No. Her eyes land on her favorite stuffed animal puppy dog, that she named Johnny. She continues writing.

I love you with all my heart, Johnny.

Dana Katherine

She purposely excludes her last name. Right now, the last thing she wants to be is a Scully.


SUNDAY, 10 JUNE 1984

John Doggett and Knowle Rohrer (both age 17 now) are sitting on the front steps of the Doggett family farm house. Knowle looks a bit pissed off, and John just sits there as if whatever it is that’s bothering Knowle is out of his control.

They've cracked open a window behind them and placed a radio in it so they can listen to music. Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time" is playing.

What do you mean you and
Monica are dating?

Me, Monica, kissing and stuff.

John tries to shrug this off like it’s nothing.

And you asked her out this
morning? On my birthday?

Knowle is succeeding in remaining calm on the exterior, but inside he’s fuming mad! John knows that he has a thing, a crush, whatever, for Monica!

(wanting to change subject)
Happy birthday, Knowle.

John really doesn’t see what’s so wrong with him dating Monica. There’s no reason this should be upsetting Knowle. Knowle and Shannon have been dating for about a year now. He figures they’re in love, as much as Knowle and Shannon can be in love, and in a steady relationship.

What a real shitty birthday
present, John.

Knowle stands up and turns his back to John. What a jerk! He swears one day he'll hit on his woman! Maybe even kiss and stuff with her too!

You’re with Shannon, Knowle,
not Monica. Your feelings for
Mon’ can’t call dibs on her.

(disgusted, turns to John)
But you… and Monica… kissing…

John grins, and quite the good kisser she is! Knowle sneers at John’s lopsided grin.

You two are like… brother and sister.
Dating each other, that’s like incest!

You’re only saying that
because you’re jealous.

No. Just last year you even called
her “the little sister I never had!”

Knowle runs his hand through his hair. Another, more disgusting, disturbing, and very upsetting thought comes to his mind. He stares down John.

You haven’t fucked her
yet, have you?

Don’t really plan on it… yet.

Knowle has to restrain himself from wanting to punch John in the face.

Shit, John! You and Mon’ are
going to age me sooner than
nature intended.

Knowle looks over at a tree next to the two-story farm house. It has a tree house in it that they used all the time when they were kids. But Knowle isn’t interested in the tree house, he’s interested in what John buried at the base of the tree years ago. A diamond in the rough. A diamond John found on his family’s farm land when he was only ten years old.



What was the name you gave
to that diamond you found?

Knowle smiles at John, knowing full well the name John gave to it.

Was it Monica’s Diamond?
Mon’s Diamond? Moni’s Diamond?

(he knows where this is going)

That’s right. You call it Dana’s Diamond.

Knowle, it’s just a name.

Just a name? You bury a diamond
in the rough, and claim you will use
it in the engagement ring, and wedding
ring you’ll give your future wife, and
you call it Dana’s Diamond? (beat)
Seems to me someone hasn’t forgotten
what Grandmama told him, huh?

That was years ago, it doesn’t matter.
(beats, lies) Plus, I’m in love with Monica.

No you’re not, and it does matter!
You can’t possibly ever be in a
serious relationship with Monica
because you’re caught up with that
fictional Dana Katherine chick. (beat)
And I swear if you end up breaking
Monica’s heart, which you will, I’ll beat you.

We’re just seeing how it goes. Plus,
it’ll be nice to go into my Senior
year of high school with a girlfriend-

- Oh shit, you want to get laid.

I didn’t say that, Knowle.

You aren’t saying it, but you’re
thinkin' it, John, sex is on
all our minds. (beat) Are you
still a virgin?

John rubs his index finger under his nose, and then rubs the back of his neck, a definite sign that the question makes him uncomfortable, and a sign that he might be about to lie.

Don’t lie.

I am, but… better I sleep
with her first than that
Follmer guy, right?


In this moment, if there’s anything Knowle and John can agree on it’s that they don’t like Brad Follmer. He’s a rich, stuck up jock wannabe. He’s been John’s roommate at Northwood Academy up in Lake Placid, New York since their Sophomore year.

They think he sounds stuck up and a total snob with his English accent.

They think he’s pretentious, and a fake.

Most of the dormitory pranks are spent on Brad Follmer.

There were times the boys of the third floor boys dormitory, Northwood Hall, “kidnapped” him and duct taped his mouth, and tied his hands and feet together and hung him by his belt to the back of a closet door. They spiked his tomato juice with South Texas jalapeño juice, and even hid his bed mattress from him after a long day running with the track team. There are other pranks they pulled on him, too many to list here.

Truth is, they’re sure he’s not a complete ass as they like to make him out to be,  but their jealousy of Monica’s crush on him bothers the both John and Knowle. They always thought Monica would grow up to crush on either one of them, or the both of them, but they had to suffer through their Sophomore, and Junior years listening to her gush over Brad Follmer. So really, their hatred of Brad Follmer is really based in their own immature jealousy.

Monica Reyes (age 16) skips over to them, a postcard in her hand, she’s mighty cheerful. Her hair up in pigtails, and she’s wearing denim overalls over a plain white Tshirt.

Hey guys! Look at what I
got in the mail today!

Monica shows them a postcard of the London Bridge.

(acting the part of boyfriend)
Hey, honey…

He leans over and kisses Monica on the cheek, all the while keeping an eye on Knowle to make sure that he saw the little kiss, as proof that this relationship isn’t a farce. Knowle shakes his head at him disapprovingly. Such bullcrap!

Oh. Hey, John.

She acknowledges him as if she forgot completely that they are now boyfriend and girlfriend. John attempts to give her a kiss on the cheek, but Monica steps away from him, holding out the postcard for Knowle to see.

It’s a postcard from Brad!
He’s in London for the
summer, visiting family. I
hope the visit thickens his
British accent, it’s so sexy.

Isn’t my accent sexy?


She shrugs her shoulders, to be honest, she never really gave much thought to John Doggett being sexy. He’s always been more a brother to her, but this morning when he asked her to be his girlfriend, and he looked so hopeful and pathetic that she had to say yes.

Plus, it’s summer, and she needs a little fling while Brad is away in England. She really hopes that next year Brad asks her out. She needs to get in as much kissing, making out, and all those baseball bases things before she can do them with Brad! John will be great to gain experience with! She can't wait to impress Brad with her kissing, and touching, and... other baseball base things!

Brad is always well-dressed. His shirts ironed, and his shirt tucked in, and with a neck tie. And he always smells like expensive aftershave. She finds him so attractive. Even when their boarding school, Northwood Academy, doesn’t require them to conform to their dress code, Brad still dresses respectfully. He’s proper. He’s smart, and the way the boys in his dorm pick on him, makes him all the more endearing to her. She sighs with love in her heart.

But oh yeah! Wait! She’s dating John Doggett!

Monica looks at John. Sure he’s cute and all, but he keeps his hair cut military short, and that doesn’t really entice her to want to run her hands through his hair, not how she dreams of running her hands through Brad’s longer locks.


She’s dating John! Ugh!

Dating John Doggett is going to be so hard to pull off with her love for Brad Follmer burning so strong!

Monica steps closer to John and wraps her arms around his waist, to be the good girlfriend. She does love him, just that she's not in love with him. But you know, John Doggett is a really good person.

She eyes John from the corner of her eye… he really is a good catch. He’s respectful, he’s smart, he’s had career goals since his Sophomore year of high school. He comes from a good family. And sure, his body is to die for (especially his abdominal muscles!). Monica raises an eyebrow with her next thought... perhaps she should seduce him, and make him her first.

She continues to eye John in a way that makes Knowle very, very jealous. He’s seen that look in Shannon’s eyes before. Before Shannon strips nekkid and they do the horizontal boogie!


4 July 1984

It’s me again, Dana. What would I do without pen and paper, right? Well, Brian turned out to be the turd I was warned about. I waited two whole dates before having sex with him, and the next day I find out from not two, but seven of his friends that he’s spilling details about me to anyone who will listen. He even said that I’m too small-chested and should get plastic surgery to be like Dolly Parton, that way I’d be worth waiting two dates for fucking. Men suck! Whey do I even date them?!

5 July 1984

We date them because kissing girls is weird. Marita was sick of Krycek’s needy affection for her, so they broke up under the fireworks last night. She found me, and I’m single, and we decided to try to make out, to see if being lesbians was a better option. It didn’t do anything for me, which sucks because that means we have to keep looking for the better men. There is one up side to kissing a girl, she really knows not to slobber, or to drool while making out, and Marita is surprisingly really good and fondling my breasts, no “honka honka” from her!

6 July 1984

Dear Diary,
Please hold me accountable to the following. While I’m ok dating the random idiot, when it comes time for me to get married, do not let me settle for less than I deserve. I want my husband to be kind, generous, understanding, a good listener, someone that will be there for me when words aren’t enough for comfort. Blue eyes are a must, and dark hair, not long hair, like a perpetual military cut, ok? A US Marine would be sexy, but not a Navy man. I will always associate the Navy with my daddy. My dad has to love my husband. He must be Captain William Scully approved! I prefer it if mom hates him because all the guys mom likes are complete and utter assholes to me, and she encourages them to treat me poorly. My husband will like to read, will be a dog person, must be able to cook though because I can’t. He’ll have to accept that Mulder and Krycek (my boys!) will probably (hopefully not!) be like my grown-adult children. While we don’t have to have the same hobbies and interests, I hope he likes historical documentaries as much as I do. I would love to spend a rainy weekend, on the couch, eating junk food, leaning up against him, with his arm around my shoulders as we watch “Roots,” or some documentary about the Vietnam War.

My husband will not be afraid of anything, and will stand up for what is right. He’ll be brave, but willing to show me his weak and vulnerable side as well. He will be the only man I will be able to speak to about my past – the good, and especially the bad. And above all else, he will heal me. He will be my family. Oh and he will not be a disgusting perv like Brian, David, Anthony, Chris, Roger, Tim, Mark, Brad, John, Eric, and Todd.

I’ve slept with all those guys. Does that make me a slut? I hate sleeping around. I don’t find pleasure in sex. It’s all so… disappointing.

Maybe I should be a nun.


11:56 P.M.

The moonlight shines into the tree house, and John Doggett cannot keep his eyes off of Monica’s breasts as they remain in one hell of a sexy black lace bra. He hears her say his name, “John…” and he looks up into her eyes, she looks unsure of herself.

(awkward, very awkward)
I’m... seducing you.

Monica crawls on top of him, her hand fumbling with his pants zipper. John has no idea if he should say anything, or what to do with his hands. He doesn’t know where to look. He feels it would be disrespectful to keep staring at her breasts.

He nearly jumps out of his own skin when he feels her hand touch him, grasping onto him in a way only he has done alone, quietly in his bedroom. Her grasp on him is too tight, it kind of hurts, but he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings and make her feel like she doesn’t know what she’s doing, so he says nothing and grits his teeth. Hopefully this, their first time, will be over quickly.

(awkward, very awkward)
I want your woody inside my body.

Ugh! John cringes! Did she have to say the word “woody?” He blinks his eyes, he swears he saw her cringing too. Does she want to do this? Does he? Sure he wants to lose his virginity, but like this… with Monica? He’s not sure. But at Northwood Academy, Seniors who are virgins are hazed quite terribly in the boys dormitory, and if he doesn’t get laid… but… he looks at Monica, she’s refusing to look him in the eye now. But if Monica doesn’t want to do this, they’ll get dressed, pretend this never happened, and he’ll go inside to take a cold shower.

Her mouth is on his now, kissing him. Before this kiss, their previous kisses had been amazing, full of promise of what sex with each other would be like.  But now… his eyes are wide open, and he sees her eyes are open too, but they just keep on kissing. It’s so weird, so very awkward.

He decides to try to do something with his hands and reaches around her back and fumbles around trying to unhook her bra. He’s only ever seen bare breasts in Knowle’s porno magazines, he’s never touched a bare breast before, and if there’s anything to get worked up about here it’s being able to do that. If he could just. frickin'. figure. out. how. the. damn. hooks. work! He groans in frustration with himself.

Annoyed with him, Monica pulls away from him, and reaches around her back and unhooks her bra for him. She throws the bra across the tree house, and it flies right out of the entryway of said tree house, and falls to the ground below.

John’s hands are immediately drawn to touch her. Her breasts are soft, and her nipples hard. He “honka honkas” them, Monica rolls her eyes.

John. I don’t know any girl
who likes that.

Stop talking, Monica, you’re
going to kill the mood.

Can you take your pants off?

(bossy right back!)
Can you take off yours?

They both take a moment to remove their pants. Monica left on her matching black lace panties, and John (eager to get on with this) is buck naked! Monica lets out a gasp at the sight of his nudity. He’s bigger than she thought he would be (damn Knowle for telling her that John was small!). She blushes, then goes to lie next to him, on her back. John reaches over and fondles her breasts again. It feels nice enough, and Monica wonders if it would feel even better if they were actually a couple in love. Or... how would Brad fondle her? Hmmm... she closes her eyes and tries to imagine that it is Brad touching her.

Monica, if we’re going to
do this, we should do it now.

Ok. Yeah. Get it over with.

She’s nervous, Shannon told her that the first time really hurts a lot. It’s hard to reach a climax because of the pain. Her heartbeat is racing, she wishes John were as small as a pencil right now! She reaches down and pulls off her panties and he positions himself in between her legs. She’s so scared she could scream! But she doesn’t. Prepare for entry in three… two… two and a half… two and three quarters… she winces in anticipation!

She fights back the urge to squeal in pain as John tries to carefully insert himself into her. Ugh! Why?! At least John is attempting to be gentle with her.

At the base of the tree that the tree house is built in, Knowle and Shannon are sitting on the ground, “standing guard,” just in case John’s parents come outside. Even though it’s just past midnight now, John wanted Knowle to be outside the tree house as he and Monica lost their virginity to each other. He was afraid that he would be loud and would wake up his mother, and she’d come outside, climb up the tree house and find him and Monica naked together. That wouldn’t only be mortifying, he’d be grounded for the rest of summer vacation, and probably would ask the administration at Northwood Academy to ground him too, or what the school calls “dorm him,” where he wouldn’t be able to leave the dorm during social hours, including to play in football games.

Knowle holds Monica’s black lace bra in his hand. All he wants to do is punch John in the face. Yes, he’s dating Shannon, but shit! John knows he’s been in love with Monica for years! Ever since “be my wife first” when they were just little kids. And now, Monica is up in that tree house moaning and groaning, and losing her virginity to John Doggett. Knowle swears they’re just going through the motions of sex so they can say they’re experienced for someone else later down the road, and that freakin’ pisses him off!

Shannon lets out a giggle.

Sounds like he’s done!



Shannon sounds proud that she and Knowle have better stamina and self-control when they do it.

Up in the tree house, John and Monica lie on their backs, staring at the ceiling. Neither one of them broke a sweat, and neither one of them really enjoyed the process of the act of sex together. To be honest, as soon as John finished (pulling out and ejaculating on her stomach! Ew!), Monica decided to fake this orgasm thing just so John wouldn’t feel obligated to keep going.

At the exact same time, they turn their heads and look at each other.

(at the same time)

Yeah, that about sums it up. Things between them are officially weird. A few awkward minutes pass as they lie there trying to figure out what to say or to do next.

Monica… you know I love
you, right? (beat) As a friend?


We can’t keep dating
each other. I’m sorry, and
I hope you’re not hurt
by my saying that, but-

- I am so glad you said that!

Monica smiles at him, sits up, grabs her T-shirt, and covers her body, leans over and kisses him on the cheek.

Like, I wanted to have sex, don’t
ever think that what just happened
wasn’t, you know, wanted, but-

(relieved she feels the same)
- But it just didn’t feel right, right?


So we’re broken up now?


Thank god!

The two of them stand up, turn their backs to each other and get dressed. Monica looks around for her bra, then figures out she must have accidentally thrown it out of the tree house, she heads down the ladder, and sees Knowle holding it.

Shannon is now standing, watching her descend the ladder, she’s laughing hard. Monica knows now that Knowle and Shannon probably heard everything. Knowle, being a gentleman, hands Monica her bra without saying a word. John joins them.

So… we broke up.

This causes Shannon to laugh even harder!

Knowle however is so pissed off he barely gives a second’s thought before he punches John in the face!


29 September, 1984

Diary! I saw the cutest guy today! He is the quarterback for Northwood Academy, Jersey #7! I couldn’t make out the name on the back of his jersey though so I don’t know his name. But with arms like his, and that butt, who needs a name! I’d never noticed jawlines on guys before, but this guy has a jawline to die for! I’ve never been so attracted to a man  before in my life. Mulder who?! Diana can have him! This Jersey #7 man even winked at me! Is it appropriate to want to chase after the quarterback of a rival school? Especially since I’m Lincoln High’s lead cheerleader? The squad would be so pissed off at me (and probably jealous).

I think he likes me too, while he was running for a touchdown, I kind of hiked up my skirt to show him some leg, and he tripped and fell! I felt so bad about it, but all the other girls laughed at him. They were even laughing when they had to get him in an ambulance to go to the hospital! They can be so inconsiderate sometimes.  I think maybe he broke his arm, or something else not good. I wish I knew who he was so I could go to the hospital so I could play Catherine Barkley to his Frederick Henry!

I’m such a sucker for tragic love stories! We just finished “A Farewell To Arms” in English class, and I was left sobbing in bed when Frederick lost Catherine. But at the same time going through the war and romance with Frederick helped me realize that I must become self-reliant, that I have to find my own inner strength to face this world. Gah! What an amazing novel!

“We slept when we were tired and if we woke the other one woke too so one was not alone. Often a man wishes to be alone and a girl wishes to be alone too and if they love each other they are jealous of that in each other, but I can truly say we never felt that. We could feel alone when we were together, alone against the others… But we were never lonely and never afraid when we were together.”

That part of the book speaks to me. I want to know what it’s like to feel that in love, that safe, that in tune with a man that we can just be alone, together.

5 July 1985

I can’t believe I haven’t written anything in almost a year! Oops! I’m in love! Last month, Bill Jr., was allowed to chaperone Marita and I on a weekend vacation into New York City, and Bill’s friend, Scott (I’m going to marry him) Williams, came with us. We got along so well! I know he’s “the one.” He’s funny, smart, athletic, and has the body of a Greek God! He’s 18 years old, so a little older than I’d like right now, but that doesn’t matter. He says he wants to wait until I’m 18 before we have sex! I cannot tell you how refreshing that is! Scott is a breath of fresh air! He even decided to hold off going to college so he can stay in Lake Placid to be with me! How romantic! I think Marita is jealous though. She seems to really hate him, and what do we know about boys Marita says she hates? Yeah, like with Krycek, she really loves them. She can keep Krycek (if they’re still involved, they’re always on and off again), and I can keep Scott.

Yesterday was the 4th of July, and Scott came by for the first time to pick me up to go to the July Fourth Covarrubias Party. Mom knows him already because he’s Bill’s friend, and she actually likes him! I didn’t think she would because Scott is so nice. This morning she even told me that Scott is perfect for me, and that he will give me everything that I deserve! Life is beautiful! Everything is finally falling into place!



John Doggett stands in front of a full-length mirror. He's in a black tuxedo. He's nervous, hesitant, as if the better thing to do right now would be to open the window across the room, crawl out, and run far away. He's listening to the radio, and Billy Idol's "White Wedding" is playing.

Hey little sister what have you done
Hey little sister who's the only one
Hey little sister who's your superman
Hey little sister who's the one you want
Hey little sister shotgun!

It's a nice day to start again
It's a nice day for a white wedding
It's a nice day to start again.

He knows he's not getting married to Barbara for the right reasons. Today's wedding is a direct result of teenage stupidity and carelessness which resulted in an unplanned pregnancy.

He knew Barbara at Northwood Academy during his Senior year from which he graduated this past spring. He hadn't talked to her before the "blind date" Monica set up for them on his eighteenth birthday back on 4 April.

He and Barbara had a quick dinner at the local pizza place in Lake Placid, and went to see "Desperately Seeking Susan," and the only good thing about that movie was how sexy Madonna was in it.

And because that was their first date movie, he's certain Barbara will want to dance to "Into The Groove" as their first dance as man and wife (and it's not even a slow dance, he can do slow dances, but anything with a more up-tempo beat, no).

Personally, he always imagined his first dance with his wife would be a song that has deeper meaning to them as a couple. Something slow he can actually dance to. He has zero desire to dance to anything tonight, to be honest.

He glances at the time on his wrist watch, ten minutes to go before he needs to be out there, and ready to go. He has nothing against church weddings, but he always imagined marrying the woman he loves in an outdoor ceremony, with a small crowd of close friends and family. Barbara managed to invite over two-hundred friends and family. He assumes she's excited to let everyone know she's pregnant (almost six months now), and due the beginning of January.

John feels hopeless. He knows he's doing the respectful, and honorable thing. He rationalizes his willingness to go through with it as he's doing this for his unborn son. It's that simple. He's not in love with Barbara, but he hopes he can learn to fall in love with her, and that she'll do the same.

He decided that he would marry her the moment that she told him she was pregnant. He proposed the next day.

Of course, Knowle gave him hell since he refused to use "Dana's Diamond" to make Barbara a custom designed engagement and wedding ring. Knowle cites this as "proof" that John shouldn't marry Barbara, and that he should wait until he meets a woman he actually is in love with. John agrees with everything Knowle has said to him, but fact remains, he has a son on the way, and if he didn't marry Barbara, he wouldn't be there 100% for his little boy.

He's certain that he'll learn to fall in love with Barbara. They've kissed and had sex before so it's not like physical contact is forbidden between them just because they're not in love.

Yes, he'll make himself fall in love with her, and they will live happily ever after with their son.

He'll enroll in Syracuse Law School as soon as he can, once he's done with combat training with the Marine Corps. He'll study law, public administration, and he'll continue on with the career path he knew he wanted years ago: be a lawyer, serve his country when called to duty, and one day run for political office, maybe even become the President of The United States.

But first things, first... he needs to get married.

His stomach churns at the thought of saying "I do" when he really wishes he had used a condom six months ago, but there were none in the glove compartment of Roy's truck, so they decided to risk it simply because the idea of stopping was incomprehensible. Damn teenage hormones!

John laughs aloud to himself. Roy was Knowle's gay roommate from Northwood Academy. He often called himself "Roy-Roy The Boy Toy." He remembers Roy finding out what he and Barbara had done in his truck, and how angry he was that John had acted irresponsibly, and how he felt responsible should anything happen. John assured him that it wasn't very likely Barbara would end up pregnant, and Roy made a bet with him that if she did get pregnant, that John would owe him $1000.00. John paid Roy that amount in cash last night at the rehearsal dinner.

There is nothin' fair in this world
There is nothin' safe in this world
And there's nothin' sure in this world
And there's nothin' pure in this world
Look for something left in this world
Start again

Come on
It's a nice day for a white wedding
It's a nice day to start again.
It's a nice day for a white wedding
It's a nice day to start again

John asked Knowle to be his best man, and Roy begged Barbara to be her Maid of Honor, and she accepted. You see, it's funny now because Roy had the biggest crush on Knowle throughout high school, and even though same-sex marriage isn't legal, Roy gets to experience walking down the aisle with Knowle today. That will be the highlight of the day.

Well... unless Roy catches the flower bouquet at the reception tonight, and Knowle catches Barbara's thigh garter, and they get a slow dance together. That would be the highlight.

John can almost see it now, Roy's head resting on Knowle's shoulder, swaying to slow music. He hopes it happens. Either way though, Knowle has promised Roy one slow dance.

The door to the changing room flies open, and Roy runs into the room. He's in a pretty pastel pink Maid of Honor suit, with a white dress shirt underneath, a baby purple neck tie, and white dress shoes.

Pink and purple are his and Barbara's wedding colors.

(very excited)
John! John! John! Come! Come!
It's time for your wedding!

Roy calms himself for a moment to give John a good head-to-toe look over.

Mmm! Marry me instead, John.
You're absolutely gorgeous.

Roy takes hold of John's hand and leads him out of the room, where Knowle is angrily staring at him down the hallway. Knowle approaches them.

John. (beat) You don't have
to do this. You can still
raise your son-

(happy to see him)

Roy plants a big kiss on Knowle's cheek, his pastel pink lipstick leaves a mark. Knowle gives Roy a look... a kiss... on his cheek... really? Roy pinches Knowle's cheek, and winks at him before walking away.

I'll be walking down the
aisle with you in a few, Sugar Bear!

Knowle growls to himself, he hates the nickname "Sugar Bear," that Roy gave to him last year in school. He's a man now, he's graduated, and near finished with his Marines training. He's no "Sugar Bear."

Knowle and John are silent until Roy is out of earshot. Knowle then gives John a look, almost begging him to not go through with this.

I have to marry her.
I knocked her up and-

Knowle smacks him upside the head!

Don't be stupid, John. You barely
know her. Even you know it's going
to be an uphill battle with Barbara.
(beat) Other than your mixed up DNA,
you two have nothing in common.
For starters, remember yesterday at
the rehearsal dinner, she said she
thinks you need to leave the Marines-

- Knowle, she didn't mean that-

- Once a Marine, always a Marine.
(beat) And shit, John, we just
became Marines, semper fi.

- Always faithful. But for me,
that doesn't just mean to the Corps,
but to the loved ones in my life.

(states a fact)
You don't love her.

John stands up a little taller, and clears his throat, a good indication that what he's about to say is a lie.

I love her, Knowle.

If the tone in his voice didn't give away that he's lying, John rubs the back of his neck, a dead give away that what he's just said is a lie.

If I knew for sure you were
going to run, I'd punch you
square in the nose for lying.

I need to go now. (beat)
I have to do this.

John starts walking away from Knowle. Leaving Knowle no choice but to bring up:

What about the
elusive Dana Katherine?

John stops, his back to Knowle.

Over the years, John has irrationally held onto belief that Grandmama Reyes lied to him when she told him he would marry a girl named Dana Katherine. But he's eighteen now, he's an adult. He can't hang onto childish dreams in the hopes they'll come true, and he can't hold onto the hope that the woman of his dreams actually exists.

Dana Katherine Scully.

When he found that diamond in the rough, he took to calling it "Dana's Diamond" because he convinced himself that this fictional Dana Scully was his future, and because all other girls he dated ended in failed relationships.

I looked up the last name Scully
in the phone book last night, John.

John stands still, his back still to Knowle. He's listening.

There was only one Scully in
Lake Placid. (beat) I called
and asked for Dana.

John's heart is beating rapidly now. Either Knowle is telling the truth, or he's lying to get him to back out of this wedding. He can barely breathe, waiting to hear what Knowle says next.

She sounds like a really sweet girl.
She's very open, friendly. She didn't
know who I was, but still talked
to me for an hour on the phone.

Knowle approaches John.

Her favorite color is blue. She
is a dog person. And she wants
to be a professional ballet
dancer, and later a dance instructor.
(beat) Her dad is a Captain in the
US Navy, and she has two brothers,
and a sister. (beat) She wants to have
an outdoor wedding one day too.

Knowle takes a piece of paper out of his coat pocket, and hands it to John. He stands in front of him.


Hesitantly, John takes the piece of paper from Knowle.

That's her phone number and
address. She's a Sophomore at
Lincoln High. (beat) And...
her middle name is Katherine.

John looks at the folded paper, his hand shaking. He can't believe that Knowle went out of his way to do this. He appreciates his friend finding a real Dana Katherine Scully. But... if he was meant to be with her... why did this thing called "fate" tie him to Barbara? He only intends on getting married once, and he will marry Barbara today, the mother of his unborn child.

But it's the right thing to do... right?

Do right by yourself, John.
(beat) Dana's a real, breathing,
non-fictional person. The love
of your life could only be a
phone call away. (beat) Now,
because you're my best friend,
I'll support you no matter what
you decide to do. If you
choose Barbara, I'll never bring
up Dana Katherine Scully again.
(beat) You have my word.

And with that, Knowle walks away, leaving John alone to give this some thought.

Once Knowle is out of sight, and he's completely alone, John opens the folded piece of paper and looks at the address and phone number. He stifles back tears. It hurts knowing that a Dana Katherine Scully really does exist, and that he has never met her. What if she is the woman Grandmama spoke of all those years ago?

He knows Knowle isn't lying to him, and that he really did call and talk to this Dana Katherine Scully. She is real, and Knowle seems to like her. The same can't be said about how Knowle feels about Barbara.

John's hands are sweaty now, and he wrinkles up the piece of paper, squeezing it as hard as he can. He shuts his eyes to will the tears of heartbreak away. He takes a deep breath and walks to the trash bin, and throws Dana Katherine Scully's address and phone number away.

He chooses Barbara and their unborn son, Luke.

His days of wondering if Dana Katherine is real are behind him. He can only look to the future, and hope that he never meets her. She is not his to have. Barbara will be his wife until death do them part. Barbara and his unborn son are his family now, and he must give them his all.

John walks out into the main room of the chapel where all his and Barbara's friends and family are seated. He stands next to the priest in front of the alter, and watches as the wedding party, and then his bride, make their way toward him. Barbara's father, John Kendall, hands her over to him and says that he gives her away.

John and Barbara look at each other, and force smiles. He notices her eyes look tired, as if she's been crying. They turn their attention to the priest, neither one of them wanting to be here with each other, but doing this for their unborn son, Luke.


21 September 1985

I hurt. No, hurt isn't the right word. I'm in tears, uncontrollable tears. He hurt me tonight. Scott raped me. Mom was upstairs while it happened. We were in the basement watching TV. I screamed so loud, hoping mom would hear me, but she never came.

We came home from the Homecoming Dance, and mom let us have wine. I think Scott had too much to drink and that's why he forced me to have sex with him. I feel disgusting. I'm no virgin, but he was so rough on me that I was bleeding. I asked mom to take me to the hospital, she laughed and said that sex is supposed to hurt. Did she not hear me screaming, or crying for help? Did she not see that Scott tore my Homecoming dress? Did she not see the blood running down my leg? Why does she hate me so much? Why is she downstairs right now, entertaining Scott? I hear them laughing. What did I do to deserve this?

I took a shower, I had to get him off of me. I used hot water and I still feel him all over and inside me. I threw up five times already. I trusted him! I thought he cared for me. I even fell in love with him. I thought he was the man I was going to marry one day, the man who would get me away from a mother who hates me.

He bruised my thighs. He bit into my breasts. I've been hurt before, but I was a young child. I thought I had grown into a strong woman, a person who could fend for herself, but I'm not. I couldn't stop him. I'm afraid of him now. What if I try to break up with him and he does it again?

I wish daddy were here, but he's always off with the damn Navy. Mom says there's no way to contact him while he's at sea. I want to believe he would help me, but maybe he chooses to not be at home because he really just wants to abandon me, Bill, Melissa, and Charles. Maybe he doesn't love us either, and that's why he leaves us in the care of mom. I can't imagine he could possibly love mom after all she allows happen to me, maybe he doesn't know.

I just know that tonight I'll have no one to hold me and to protect me. I'll probably never have that in my life. I hear mom talking with Scott downstairs. She just told him he can spend the night with me in my room!

I am not loved. I'll never be loved. I'm damaged, and I'm undeserving of a real, loving family. Perhaps I'm meant to suffer so guys like Scott can't hurt other girls.

I hear them coming up the stairs. I'm going to be sick.

I just want to die.


11:53 P.M.

At the same moment Dana Scully is hiding her diary in her dresser drawer in her bedroom, waiting for her mom to tell her Scott is staying the night in her room (after having raped her), John Doggett lies awake in the luxurious king size bed of the Honeymoon Suite. His new wife, Barbara, is at his side, her back to him. The moonlight shines in from the sliding door that leads out to a balcony.

He's relieved that Barbara didn't want to consummate their marriage tonight, and he's not sure she will ever want to. He feels sick, like there's something very wrong in the world tonight. He feels that he's made the biggest mistake in his life, but yet... something else feels wrong.

John looks over at Barbara, she's fast asleep. He quietly gets out of bed and goes out onto the balcony. He looks up at the moon in the sky, and wonders if at that exact same moment Dana Katherine Scully is looking up at it too.

He'd be lying to himself if he said he hopes he'll never run into Dana one day.

But even if he did, what would he say? What would he do? What if meeting her would be like a bolt of lightning striking him in the chest? BOOM! Love at first sight! His heart aches for her, and he doesn't even know her. He needs to forget about her. Tell his heart that it cannot love someone he's never met, but then again...

He looks back into the hotel room at Barbara and at her baby bump.

... then again... he loves his unborn child with all his heart, and he has yet to meet him... so perhaps loving someone you haven't yet met is possible... but then again... he's married to Barbara for the rest of his life, he's committed himself to her, he will be loyal to her, and he will treat her as a husband treats the wife he loves.

John rests his arms on the balcony railing, and lowers his head, wishing the memory of Dana's name away. He has to let the hope of her fade from memory. He can't hang on to someone he will never know.


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