EXT. FLIGHT DECK – THE PEQUOD – DAY
DECEMBER 21, 2012
Mulder and Krycek are rolling giant balls of
packed snow across the fight deck of the Pequod. They push together,
a gigantic ball of snow and heave and ho it towards a dozen other
This is going to be so much
super fun for the Christmas party.
And with the weather being so
frickin’ cold all the time,
it’s all bound to stay frozen!
Gee, won’t Captain Scully just
be tickled with surprise to see
a extra humongous, gigantic, over
the top, giant of a snow man on the
flight deck for Christmas Eve!
I know! It’s so super fun! (beat) Hey
maybe we could even make a fort out
of some of this snow. Or you could make
a snow statue of me you know, since I am
your one big friend and buddy in the whole
Mulder shrugs his shoulders. Maybe he will,
maybe he won’t.
Oh come on man! I’m begging you
here! You made a bronze statue of
Knowle for his birthday and I can’t
even get one of me made of snow or ice?
I went over the top with that statue.
It wouldn’t be over the top for me.
(beat) Doesn't this remind you of the
time we tried to mow Doggett's yard
in the winter? (laughs) Didn't you get
stuck under that huge, gigantic, five
foot ball of snow?
Mulder scowls at him. He remembers.
Krycek, the punk, rolled it right over him.
Yeah, I remember. You laughed
and pointed at me.
Krycek shakes his head and laughs
They finish rolling the gigantic ball of snow
so it is with the others. They stand with their hands on their hips
as they contemplate their next move.
I never thought about how we’re
going to stack these things. We
certainly can’t lift them... and
even if we managed to get them on
top of the island and drop them on
top of one another, they’d break.
They stare at the giant balls for a few moments.
(after a long beat)
Say, I was just thinking-
Mulder looks up hopeful that his buddy has figured
out a way to get the giant snowman made.
The end of the world is supposed
to be tomorrow and it sure doesn’t
seem to be ending, does it?
Gee, I guess you’re right. The
ancient Mayan prophecy did say
the end of the world would be
today actually... or was it
tomorrow. Who really knows, but
I have to say, I’m kind of sad
to see that the prophecy wasn’t true.
Krycek looks at him in disbelief.
You’re sad you’re not going to die
with the end of time? The end of the world?
I want to believe, what can I say?
Yeah, well the end could still come tomorrow.
No it won’t.
What makes you so sure?
I’m here. The world will still
exist so long as I am here.
Well, answer this for me: If I
weren’t in your life, would you
still want to live? I mean, your
quest for proving the existence of
alien life has been proven. Your quest
for finding your sister and finding out
what happened to her has been answered...
What more could you possibly hope to do or to find?
Mulder looks pensive... he feels he’s answered
this question before, but the last person asking it was Scully...
Well... I would say find love,
but I already found Maria and I
love her so very much. (beat) I
certainly have uncovered so many
things in all my years of the x-files,
I have even seen the day where Doggett
believes that there are E.B.Es. (beat)
Gee Alex... I’ve done everything I’ve
ever dreamed of. Everything.
Well, everything realistic... everything
except fly a UFO and see a giant Mother Ship
hovering in space. (beat) I guess, since this
is the end, I’d love to see our home, Planet
Earth, return to normal. See the spring flowers
grow. The butterflies emerging from their cocoons.
The warm gentle breeze of summer as I tan
on the white sandy beaches of Hawaii in my white speedo.
The cool air rush through my hair as I
plan a road trip Super Buddy adventure
on motorcycles. (beat) Cross country of course.
Swimming naked in the warm ocean water.
Making the trip up to the North Pole
to see where Santa Claus lives.
Hit on his elves.
Build a ginger bread house and eat it all.
Admit that we love all of “Star Wars”,
including the prequels.
Meet George Lucas and hug him.
And maybe even a kiss.
(out of dream state)
That might be going too far Alex.
(out of dream state)
I thought so too.
Alex clears his throat.
What about you Alex? If the end
were to happen tomorrow, have
you done everything you wanted to do?
Well, Marita and I are married by the
heart – I’d actually like to have it
be real, not whatever “by the heart” means.
He thinks for another moment.
And come to think of it, I’d actually
like to understand my relationship with
her. Know when our anniversary is and
whether or not we were together back in the
day’s where she was saying that “we never
have been and never will be”.
Mulder nods his head in agreement.
Between you and me, buddy... I think
you two were together.
Mulder puts his arm around Krycek’s shoulder.
Krycek looks over and smiles at him. Their faces are very close together,
and they start to merge even closer... are they about to kiss? Will
they or won’t they? Mulder opens his mouth, inviting Krycek and just
before their lips meet, in what could only be a tender loving kiss,
Krycek pulls away.
DAMMIT! You are the man
at Gay Chicken!
I know, and it makes everyone wonder.
He smiles deviously and wiggles his eye brows.
Hey Mulder, did you notice I
didn’t make one single perverse
comment about giant balls in this scene?
I did. You must be growing up.
They smile as we:
CROSS SWIPE TRANSITION TO: A MORE SERIOUS SCENE
INT. THE PEQUOD – COMMAND CENTER
John Doggett, Knowle Rohrer, Charles Scully,
Captain Scully, and other commanding officers of the military surround
a table with a giant map placed on it. Little flags in many different
colors have been pinned to the map, indicating the location of their
men and their enemy, the Hybrids.
They are in mid discussion of their battle plans.
Here’s the way I see it.
He clears his throat.
We’ve got sectors 42 and 37 that
are virtually unprotected. We need
someone there. The intelligence Ray
has provided us from his men at the
Ice Cave says that’s the most probable place
where we can see these things coming.
And who do you suggest we send there?
We have more volunteers in sectors
15 and 28 than we need, we can move
some of them to sector 37. I’m thinking
for sector 42, we’ll just need a look out.
It’s in an abandoned area, no sign of any
life forms have been spotted there, not since
the battle five years ago.
Captain Scully takes a closer look at sector
42 and nods his head.
That’s Long Island beach where we
defeated the aliens. (beat) We’ll
need a small team, no more than
two I believe. (beat) A simple look out.
He nods his head.
I’ll post a notice for volunteers
to be on lookout. Sector 42 will
strictly be a look out, no combat, no contact.
The men nod their heads in agreement.
INT. HANGAR DECK - DAY
Scully and Monica are surrounded by boxes filled
with Christmas decorations. A giant Christmas tree, free of all it’s
decorations, stands tall in one of the corners of the hangar deck,
next to a stage that is being prepared for a live band. Scully is
trying to untangle herself from Christmas lights and Monica is rummaging
through boxes of decorations.
This Christmas just seems extra
special to me this year. I don’t
know why. I just feel so... free and
happy right now. (beat) I like to think
that it’s woman’s intuition. Or maybe
it’s just that I feel all glow-y inside.
Monica looks up from a box and smiles at her.
This time of the year tends to
bring that feeling to everyone.
It’s a time that we associate with
family and warmth and great food.
I know, but... maybe it’s just me,
but I feel so alive this year. I
don’t know, maybe I’m just hopeful that
this war will finally come to an end.
Knowle’s been pretty positive about that,
but still keeps his head on. (beat) He’s
worried he’s going to get too cocky about
the battles they’ve been planning that he’s
going to screw up. I just remind him that
when he was in special ops, the cockier he
was about a mission, the better.
John hasn’t talked much about the plans.
But with Katie always around, we don’t
want her to get scared about her
daddy going to war.
Monica pulls a golden star out of a box and
smiles. Finally, she found what she is looking for.
Have you gotten any feelings about
the battle they’ve been planning?
You mean, psychically speaking?
Scully nods her head “yes”, she’s gotten herself
worried for John again.
I haven’t felt anything off about it.
I’ve been pretty calm, but maybe that’s
because I sleep next to Knowle every night
and he doesn’t feel scared or uneasy.
I guess that’s good, right?
Monica smiles reassuringly at her.
It’s always good when I’m able to
sleep at night without trouble.
Marita and Maria come up to them, holding flyers
in their hands. They look very serious.
We need to talk.
Is everything all right?
She senses the concern in Marita and Maria.
We must hide these flyers from
Fox and Alex.
Marita hands one to Scully and she takes it.
What is it?
A flyer for volunteers to help
out with a look out in one of the
sections crucial to the battle plans.
Scully looks up at the twins.
You really think Mulder and
Krycek would volunteer?
Of course they will.
No combat, no enemy contact. You
know they will want to help, which
is all fine and dandy, but-
-But they’d screw it up and get killed!
We’ve been running around the whole
ship collecting these flyers so they
don’t see them.
What about the people capable of
volunteering? Shouldn’t they know about it?
Well, they’ll just have to be
recruited by the Captain himself.
We figure that when they don’t get
any volunteers, they’ll have to be
forced to seek them out.
And the likeliness of them choosing
Fox and Alex is slim to none.
They both smiles sweetly at their brilliant
plan to stop Mulder and Krycek from volunteering.
But... what if Mulder and
Krycek could actually help?
Her unlikely comment causes Marita to burst
out laughing. Scully looks to Monica, somewhat in disbelief of the
Oh sweetie, that’s not possible
at all. Even with Krycek’s needing
to live for me and Mulder’s unusual luck.
They are so unpredictable, even
if their intentions are true and
Marita snatches the flyer from Scully’s hand
and smiles at her.
Well, we’ve got more flyers to collect.
Yes we do. Ta-ta for now!
They turn at the same time and walk away. Scully
and Monica share a look... that was kind of rude of them to speak
of Mulder and Krycek that way. But if one had to look at it, it would
only be natural for Mulder and Krycek to screw something up in some
way or another...
TIME CUT TO:
INT. THE POST OFFICE
Mulder leans on the counter in the ship’s post
office reading a piece of white paper. His eyes move back and forth
excitedly. There is a knock on the wooden frame of the open window.
Mulder looks up and smiles at his buddy.
I’m so glad you got here quickly!
What’s so exciting that couldn’t wait?
Mulder holds up the piece of a paper – the flyer
Captain Scully posted about needing volunteers for Sector 42. Apparently
Marita and Maria could get their hands on all the flyers except for
one, which made it’s way into Mulder’s hands.
Our chance at being heroes.
Krycek’s eyebrows lift. He likes the sound of
that, maybe they’ll make a gold statue of him.
Yes my fine friend, heroes.
Krycek and Mulder lean on the counter of the
open window and Mulder holds the flyer for both of them to see.
The military needs two capable
men or women to volunteer as look out
in Sector 42. Sector 42 is a crucial
position where the team will pose as
a look out for the Hybrids to alert our
military of enemy movement. The team will
be responsible for informing only, no
combat or enemy contact required.
Mulder looks up giddy.
This sounds fun!
And the fact that’s it’s Sector 42 is
awesome. I mean, it’s like fate, our
apartment number is 42!
Holy Heck Mulder! You’re right! It
must be fate! We must go tell the
Cap’n that we proudly and bravely
Mulder hops over the counter and onto the other
side of the post office where Alex is.
Let’s go straight away!
They grab hands and run off together down the
hall with giddy excitement.
TIME CUT TO:
INT. CAPTAIN SCULLY’S QUARTERS – THAT EVENING
He looks up sternly at the messenger who has
sent him this terrible news. He can’t believe what he has just read.
This can’t possibly be it
for the volunteer list.
Opposite him, standing in front of his desk,
is John Doggett. Behind him is Charles, his son standing by his father’s
office door. They are the bringers of this bad news.
I’m sorry sir, but that’s it for the list.
Captain Scully stands up not thrilled at all
with this news.
How in Tarnation is this possible?!
I printed off thousands of flyers. Posted
them everywhere and the only two people
to volunteer for Sector 42 are these
ninnies, Fox and Alex? (beat) If this is
some sort of joke, son, you’re in for it.
He looks back at his son, Charles.
Are you blaming me? I made damn sure
these flyers didn’t make it anywhere
Mulder and Krycek would be.
Then how are they the ONLY one’s
to have volunteered?
Doggett clears his throat and hesitates before
Well sir, Mulder and Krycek have been
trained by General Rohrer. Krycek is
certified to fly a-
Have you forgotten how that little
piece of tofu left your wife, my
daughter out in the middle of one
of the most violent and massive Breeder
attacks? Because I sure as Hell haven’t!
Well, sir... n-no I haven’t but,
Mulder will be with him.
Is that supposed to put me at ease?
He’s as unpredictable, if not more
unpredictable and unreliable as Krycek.
The way that boy sneaks off the ship and
ventures to land on one of his “adventures”!
They are the only one’s sir and I
don’t think it is our right to deny
them the opportunity to serve our
military just because they have acted
up in the past. Yes, this is a risk, but
we take risks every day. We don’t have
the right to deny them the chance to help.
If they screw up...
He’s intense and threatening. This battle, this
mission, is so vital that one screw up from Mulder and Krycek could
ruin all they have fought for, all they have planned and the world
could come to an end.
They’ll be reporting to General Rohrer.
Good. If anyone can handle the
unpredictable, it’s that man.
(beat; calmer) When do we brief them?
They’re on their way now to the
Command Center, sir.
INT. COMMAND CENTER – MINUTES LATER
Mulder and Krycek have not yet arrived at the
Command Center. Knowle stands at the front of the room, addressing
everyone as they wait for Doggett, Charles and the Captain to arrive.
I’ve also received news that another
man with intelligence has joined our
cause and is on his way to the Pequod now-
The door abruptly opens and Krycek walks in
That’s right! Sector 42 is in da house!
He stops in the door way with his arms raised
up, ready for all to praise him, but no one does and he continues
to stand there until Mulder pushes him into the room.
Move it you dumb-pummy.
Krycek lowers his arms and scowls at the room.
Have a seat gentlemen.
Krycek and Mulder walk in, looking amused at
Knowle’s commanding voice, which is a bit lower and more “manly” than
his every day voice.
Why do you suppose he talks like that?
I don’t know.
Doggett, Captain Scully and Charles enter the
(voice a little lower; commanding-like)
As I was saying. Joining us is a
man who has intelligence on the Hybrids,
a one Charles Spender-
Doggett looks up at him, not thrilled to hear
that man’s name. It’s been years, but he hasn’t forgotten what the
black lunged son-of-a-bitch did to Dana when she was held captive
at the Facility.
-He’s been living on land all
these years, observing their patterns-
Doggett stands up and interrupts Knowle.
With all due respect General...
Knowle looks over at him having not expected
him to interrupt him.
... but I don’t think that man can
be trusted at all. He was working
against us, making deals with the
aliens before they left. He’s only
out for himself. (beat) He can’t be trusted.
I respect your opinion, General Doggett,
however he has vital information that
no one else has been able to get. We need
him on this mission.
They are pissing in the corners!
Shut up, Alex.
Well they are.
Just shut up.
Krycek scowls, but shuts his mouth to watch
the tension and drama unfold.
What ever information this man has,
he’s not on our side. He’s only on
the side of saving his own ass. He’ll
stop at nothing to secure his own survival.
Like taking my wife in trade for his security.
I have it on good authority, General, that
time has changed the man. (beat) It was
Thomas Paine that wrote “These are the times
that try man’s soul”.
Don’t start hurling quotations at me, Knowle.
He’s making this personal by using his first
name. Knowle watches him for a moment, then addresses the rest of
Ladies and gentlemen, if you’ll
excuse us for one moment.
He walks back towards John, leaving the front
of the room, and both men head out into the empty hallway. Krycek
stands up to follow the drama, but Mulder pulls him down and holds
him in his chair by sitting on him.
INT. HALLWAY – CON’T
Doggett shuts the door to the Command Center
and turns to Knowle with intensity.
Do you know what that man did to
Dana at the Facility? He raped her.
He was going to trade her for his
own selfish survival. He cares for
no one but himself.
He’s the man that saved Monica.
Saved her or not, I’m not going
to let him in on our plans. I
don’t want him near Dana or Katie.
He’s already on his way. He’s
helping whether you like it or not.
This angers Doggett and he slams Knowle up against
the wall, his forearm pressing against his chest, near his throat.
Do you have any idea how hard
it was for her to move on from
what he did to her? Do you know
what it will be like for her to see
that rapist?! What if he hurt Monica,
would you want him in on this?
I don’t think you would! Just because
this man saved Monica doesn’t mean
he’s not out to get Dana! He’s always
wanted her! He wanted to hand her over
to the aliens. Who’s to say he won’t go
after my daughter?!
(struggling to talk)
He’s not, John.
Angry, John presses harder, putting more pressure
near Knowle’s throat.
You have no idea what’s it’s like to
see the woman you love be hurt like that.
To see her struggle because of the assault.
You don’t know because you’ve never loved
that deep in your life where you can feel her pain.
Knowle pushes John off of him and glares at
You think I didn’t feel the pain of
watching my wife die from a cancer that
had no cure? Don’t you dare say that I
haven’t loved that deep. I’d do anything
for her. I’d give my life to protect her.
Because of that black-lunged son-of-a-bitch
my wife removed that chip from her neck to
save your ass! He was using that chip to track
her, to try to take her and use her for his
own personal survival! She removed that chip
for you, knowing full well that she would
develop cancer and die!
She didn’t die, John! Monica saved her!
You think I don’t know that?! Fact is
that Dana was dying because of that man!
He put that chip into her neck knowing how
he was going to use it to get to her! (beat)
She still struggles with what he did to
her TO THIS DAY! I’m telling you – no -
I’m ordering you to remove Charles Spender
from this mission. I order you to refuse
his boarding of this ship!
Talk to the Captain, John.
Her father is approving this?!
I refuse to believe that he’d
approve of this if he knew what
that monster did to Dana.
As I said before, he has information-
Doggett storms away from him and opens the door
to the Command Center.
Captain, a word!
Everyone, including Knowle, can’t believe that
John Doggett just spoke with anger to a Navy Captain. Captain Scully
leaves the room, curious to know what is going on.
What is it, John?
I request that you forbid Charles
Spender to board this ship. He raped
Dana when she was held at-
John, I know how vicious and evil
that man is. He was the master mind
behind the murder of my wife, Katherine.
He wanted me dead because of my involvement
with the Syndicate – according to him, I
was on the wrong side. (beat) I’m not thrilled
to have him on board, but after talking with
Mrs. Rohrer about him and how he saved her
life and that she senses he is a changed man,
I feel I have to trust him. He was hesitant to
even come here, but the information he has is
vital to what we are trying to do.
(threatening, but accepting)
If he even sees her...
She won’t even know that he is here
and I will have him under strict watch
at all times.
Do you trust who will be watching him?
Yes, I do because I will be with him.
This eases Doggett just a bit, but he’s still
With that said, I’d like to continue
our briefing for tomorrow’s assault.
John and Knowle nod their heads and follow the
Captain back into the Command Center.
INT. COMMAND CENTER – CON’T
Mulder and Krycek are the first on their feet
as Captain Scully enters. They run up to him and salute him. He eyes
them for a moment, wondering what ace they have up their sleeve.
Sir, Cap’n, sir! We would like
to know if you could perform a
wedding for us.
He cocks his eyebrow as Doggett and Knowle stop
in the doorway. Are Mulder and Krycek getting married? Everyone else
in the Command Center turns their attention to the boys.
Not us! Geez!
We haven’t asked yet, but since we
are so bravely going where no
man has gone before-
-Sector 42, we have discussed proposing
to our lovely ladies.
And we would like to get married in a hurry!
Well, as soon as they say yes.
Because we know they will.
Oh yes, most definitely. Marita and
I are already married by the heart,
and well Captain sir, I’d like to
actually make it legal right here on the boat.
Me too... well, to be married on the boat.
We’ve already discussed it. We should share
the ceremony together. You know, kind of like-
-A Doppelwedding. Though we will NOT
be having a Doppelhoneymoon.
No way man. You are so not going to
be a part of mine and Marita’s wedding night.
I know, you’d get confused on which
one was Marita and which one is Maria.
I would not.
You would to.
I would not.
But you have.
No I haven’t.
Yes you have.
No I haven’t.
But you have.
(quick to jump in and stop this)
They look over at him and return to their “at
It would be my honor to marry
the two of you to your lovely ladies.
Oh my gosh! That is so super great
and fantastic! You are so da man, Cap’n!
We can’t thank you enough! We’d kiss you-
First things first. You need to be briefed
on your task for tomorrow-
-Oh don’t worry about it. I’ve already
rifled through the paperwork left up
there. We already know that we’ll be
reporting into Knowle – Sorry, General
Rohrer on frequency 88.4.
And we know that we have to give a report
every ten minutes or he’ll be worried.
And of course if we see something between
a ten minute report to call it in.
No combat, no contact. We got it.
Yeah, don’t worry. You can trust us.
They smile... and yet, no one is really sure
if they can be trusted. Captain Scully eyes them.
You boys know how important your
assignment is. With your-
-Don’t worry, Captain. We know. We
alert everyone of enemy movement so we
can move in first and smash ‘em.
It’s easy to remember too. We sit there,
lay low and watch. Then report what we
see to Knowle – err, General Rohrer.
Do we get call signs? Because I’d
like to be Doolittle.
And I’d like to be Pee-Wee.
Doolittle and Pee-Wee it is.
Mulder and Krycek turn to each other and give
a high five, then jump up and bump their chests together. Land on
two feet, turn and bump their bums.
Captain Scully rolls his eyes. He can’t believe
this important part of the mission has been defaulted to these idiots.
Mulder and Krycek turn to him, all serious now.
Don’t worry, Captain. We won’t
let you down.
Mulder salutes him.
Yeah, we are Paul Revere!
Krycek salutes him too, and with an added big
grin that shows off his pearly white teeth.
TIME CUT TO:
INT. MULDER & KRYCEK’S QUARTERS – TWENTY MINUTES
Mulder and Krycek stand in front of a mirror
wearing tuxedos. They both straighten their bowties and fix their
hair, all of this done at the exact same time, in the exact same way.
Oh my god Mulder! Did you ever
imagine this day would come?!
I know! To propose to women we
love at the same time and then
to get married at the same time!
It’s just super fantastic!
I know! (beat) Breath mint?
Krycek offers Mulder a breath mint and he takes
How do I look?
Handsome as ever. (beat) Me?
Super slick hotness, bro!
They high five each other and grab two ring
boxes from their coffee table as they head out of their apartment
to meet Marita and Maria.
SMALL CUT TO:
INT. KNOWLE’S CAFÉ – MINUTES LATER
Mulder is down on one knee in front of Maria.
He smiles up at her and she down at him.
Oh Pookie, did you drop something?
No, I haven’t dropped anything
except for my worries when I
look into your soft angelic eyes.
Maria places a hand over her heart, truly touched
by his romantic words.
(soft and romantic)
Maria, when I first met you my
world was falling apart, but you
brought me back from so much heart
ache. Your smile, your soul, your heart
have touched me in a way that I’ve
never felt before. I hope I have done
the same for you.
Oh, Fox, you have! You have!
Mulder takes hold of her hand.
Tomorrow I’m going out to Sector 42
to help our military end this destructive
conflict between us and the Hybrids. I
may not return, but I want you to know
that I will fight my hardest if the need
to fight arises, so I can make it back to
you. (beat) Maria Linn, will you do me the
honor of becoming my wife?
Tears well in Maria’s eyes and she nods her
Oh Fox! Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you!
He places a beautiful diamond ring with a band
made of gold on her finger and she wraps her arms around him and kisses
At the same time, at the table right next to Mulder and Maria... Krycek
is down on one knee in front of Marita.
Marita, you are my one and only
true love. You make my heart beat,
you give air to my lungs. Without
you I can only be half of a person.
You complete me so much so that I
can’t imagine going into Sector 42
tomorrow with the thought that you are
not truly mine.
Marita smiles down at him.
You move the winds, the stars. The
universe revolves around you and your
beautiful heart and soul. Oh Marita Lynn,
will you marry me?
Marita places a hand over her heart, as if she’s
truly touched by him. And then her smile fades and:
Krycek’s heart breaks into a gozillion pieces!
And how dare you ask me that now!
She removes her hand from his and leaves the
restaurant in a very sour mood. Tears well in Krycek’s eyes. Without
his Marita why should he even go to Sector 42 tomorrow? His whole
reason for being has been shredded by a single word, “no”.
He looks over at Mulder, who gives him a thumbs
up, indicating that Maria said yes. But Mulder and Maria’s happiness
is put on hold when they see the tears and heartbreak Krycek has from
They quickly rush over and wrap their arms around
Krycek as he cries.
I don’t get it. She is my one
true love. Why? Why? I thought
we made up! I mean, I was ok growing
old with her and now I should just
go out to Sector 42 and DIE!!!
Oh Alex, I’m heartbroken by this! You
love her so much and for so long. It’s
been twenty-eight years of your love!
I loved her since the day she
was born. That was January 23, 1970!
He bawls and Maria wraps her arms around him
to comfort him.
Oh Alexander, I think you should
talk to her. If you’ve been with
her on again and off again since,
what, 1984, and loved her since 1970
then you MUST talk to her. Maybe this
is all just a misunderstanding. (beat)
My sister can be a real cruel female dog
every once in a while, but I know that
deep within her heart she has warmth
and love for you. She’s just been through
a hard time and maybe this war has gotten
to her. (beat) And honestly, maybe the way
that your friendship with Fox comes before
her has confused her mind so much so that
she doesn’t think you mean it. Perhaps she
is afraid that spending her life with you
will mean she’ll have to be living with
Fox and I... because you both know that
this means you two won’t be living together.
She eyes Mulder who nods his head. Krycek looks
up at him, as if realizing that even if Marita does hate him and never
wants to see him again that this is the end of an era. There will
be no more Mulder and Krycek. There will be no more Apartment 42.
No more adventures of Fox and Alex.
Mulder, realizing the same thing as Krycek at
the exact same time, starts to quiver in his lower lip. The end of
Oh my god, buddy. It’s the
end of an era!
Krycek stands up and he and Mulder hug, crying
in each other’s arms.
But it’s ok! I mean, you’re
going to be married, and to
one hot damn fine piece of hotness!
I know! And it’s not like because
I’ll be married that we still can’t
get together from time to time to
watch “Star Wars”.
Mulder looks over at Maria just to double check
and make sure this is still all right to do. She nods her head, of
course it’s all right if they get together to watch “Star Wars”.
And you can even watch it at Sasha’s.
You could! I’ll welcome you anytime!
And you’re always welcome with us!
(beat) But please don’t sleep on
the floor like you did when Diana and I-
-Hey, I did that because I hate Diana.
I was trying to break you guys up. But
you with Maria, well that’s just fine and dandy.
Mulder and Krycek hug. Maria smiles with endearment.
(singing in each other’s arms)
I’ll be just
Fine and Dandy
Lord it’s like a hard candy Christmas
I’m barley getting through tomorrow
But still I won’t let
Sorrow bring me way down
They pull away, not continuing their song of
Dolly Parton’s “Hard Candy Christmas”, you know, from “The Best Little
Whorehouse In Texas” – their favorite musical starring Dolly and Burt
Reynolds. They smile and pat each other on the back.
Buddy, it’s been one awesome era.
It sure has.
INT. HANGAR DECK – THAT NIGHT
The Christmas decorations have been set aside
and our gang hurries to get flowers in place and seats for a wedding.
A wedding that they think will be a Doppelwedding for Mulder and Maria
and Krycek and Marita. Scully stands with her hands holding her stomach,
a content look on her face. Monica is placing chairs nearby and looks
over at her, wondering why she’s just standing there.
Dana? We need to set up chairs.
The boys are getting married in a hurry.
Scully turns and smiles contently at her.
I know... I’m pregnant!
Monica stops working and smiles at her.
Oh my god, you are?
Scully nods her head excitedly and Monica comes
over to her.
That’s wonderful. Congratulations.
I just found out it’s a boy.
Which means you and Knowle need
to get to it and have a girl so
they can be married and we can
Monica laughs at the things Scully thinks of.
Scully tells her she’s pregnant and has already started planning her
child’s future with a child that Monica’s not even carrying.
Well, I guess-
Tonight, you guys should do it.
Scully smiles, not wanting to waste any more
time for her future son’s future wife to be conceived.
Well, there certainly is no
harm in trying.
Monica smiles and Scully’s smile disappears
as she looks beyond Monica. Curious, Monica turns around to see what
Scully sees: Alex Krycek, tuxedo and all walking towards the area
where the wedding is to be.
(as if already knowing)
She makes her way over to him, knowing, with
her motherly instincts, what has just happened.
She touches Krycek on the arm sympathetically.
(holding back tears)
She said no, but Mulder and Maria
are going to get hitched so we have
to get this place spic and span for
their wedding because they deserve the
most beautiful wedding ever. (beat) I’ll
cry again later, okay, but now this is about
Mulder and Maria.
Scully has a huge frown on her face, not from
anger, but from trying to fight back her tears.
You deserve better than that bitch!
She starts to cry and Krycek hugs her.
He looks around, confused as to why he’s comforting
her about his broken heart.
We’ll cry later. We have to make
this wedding beautiful. We need
purple and we need it now!
And pink. It's their wedding colors.
Scully nods her head.
(addressing every helping hand)
You hear that everyone?! Let’s
get purple and pink! Go! They’re
going to be here soon and this place
had better be super good! MONICA!
Monica rushes up to him.
Does Knowle have a cake on standby?
He always has some kind of cake.
I can find him, I’m sure he’s at
He is. And he already knows it’s going to
be a wedding for one since he was there to
see her stomp on my heart. Go find him and
make him have purple and pink somewhere in the cake. GO!
Monica nods and runs off.
Scully watches Krycek. It’s as if he’s in his
element. A natural born wedding coordinator. He commands the room
entirely on his own and everyone listens. A lump forms in her throat
as she sees how grown up he’s being in setting up his best friend’s
wedding. Putting aside his own heartbreak and anguish for his friend.
Tears drop from her eyes... her little Sasha Baby is growing up into
Dana! You’re on bouquet duty, and
I don’t mean practicing to catch it!
Now MOVE and make that bouquet the
most beautiful bouquet you’ve ever seen!
Scully nods and gets to work.
Krycek orders more people, setting up lighting,
setting up all the chairs perfectly. He soars like a leaf in the wind.
And as suddenly as the chaos to make this wedding
happen began, the seats begin to fill, the lights dim and the music
starts to play.
Krycek finds his way to Mulder, who has a pinkish-purple
flower tucked into his suit. They smile at each other.
You know Mulder... tonight, in this
moment, you are da man.
We’ll hug again later, but right
now your bride is about to walk
down that aisle and we need to get
you out there.
They both walk up to the alter, where Captain
Scully is standing. He smiles at them. Mulder looks at everyone in
the crowd, all his friends, his extended family. He feels he’s floating
on cloud nine. Who knew this day would turn out to be so beautiful?
And what a wonderful job everyone did in setting up this wedding!
He turns to Krycek and mouths off “wow-wee!” Krycek nods his head
and mouths off “I know, dude”.
Maria makes her way down the aisle in a beautiful
white wedding dress, given to her from a dear friend of hers that
the rest of the group doesn’t know. Her name is Flo, and Flo is standing
at the front of the alter as the Maid of Honor.
Maria takes hold of Mulder’s hand and they approach
Captain Scully together.
Behind them, Marita quietly makes her way to
a front row seat. Though she’s a bit bitter about Krycek proposing
to her at the same time as her sister, and how sometimes she can just
be a big meanie, this is her sister’s wedding. Krycek looks at her
and their eyes meet. She smiles a sorrowful smile, regretting the
way she treated him. She mouths off “I love you. I’m sorry.” Krycek’s
eyes go wide with hope and happiness and he mouths off “I love you
too, Snuffles. We’ll have to talk after Mulder and Maria get married,
because if we interrupt now for our own drama, they’ll be a wee bit
angry at us. And I couldn’t stand to have my bestest buddy mad at
me on his wedding day. I’d just be so devastated and really, I don’t
want to cry anymore.”
Marita squints her eyes, not sure what he just
mouthed off to her, but she did understand “I love you too, Snuffles”.
They both turn their attention back to the ceremony,
which is reaching the best part.
Do you Fox Mulder take Maria Covarrubias to be
your wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honor
and keep her, in sickness and in health, for richer,
for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in
joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon her your
heart’s deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keep
yourself only unto her as long as you both shall live?
Most definitely, I will.
Mulder smiles at her and she at him.
Do you Maria Covarrubias take Fox Mulder to be your
husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and
keep him, in sickness and in health, for richer, for
poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy,
to cherish and continually bestow upon him your heart’s
deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keep yourself
only unto him as long as you both shall live?
The rings please.
Krycek steps forward and hands the rings to
him. He steps back to his place, hoping not to cry from pure happiness
at seeing his buddy get married.
Fox, in placing this ring on Maria’s finger,
repeat after me: Maria, you are now consecrated
to me as my wife from this day forward...
Maria, you are now consecrated
to me as my wife from this day forward
...and I give you this ring as the pledge
of my love and as the symbol of our unity...
...and I give you this ring as the pledge
of my love and as the symbol of our unity...
and with this ring, I thee wed.
and with this ring, I thee wed.
In the crowd, Scully is dabbing her eyes with
a tissue. She looks to John and squeezes his hand. He looks to her
My baby boy is getting married.
(beat; realizes; excited) I'm
having a baby boy!
(quiet; good intentions)
We're having a baby boy.
(suddenly sour; still quiet)
Until you can push this baby
out of your penis, I'm having a baby.
They both return their gaze to the front.
...and with this ring, I thee wed.
May you always share with each other the
gifts of love – be one in heart and in
mind – may you always create a home together
that puts in your hearts – love – generosity
and kindness. (beat) In as much as Fox and Maria
have consented together in marriage before this
company of friends and family and have pledged
their faith – and declared their unity by giving
and receiving a ring – are now joined. (beat) You
have pronounced yourselves husband and wife but
remember to always be each other’s best friend.
And so, by the power vested in me by the State of
Virginia, I now pronounce you man and wife. May your
days be good and long upon the earth.
(loud; sincerly worried for the lives of everyone)
Well gee, no kidding! I hope that for everyone.
Captain Scully shakes his head. Did he just
have an outburst? We came this far, it was going so smoothly, and
then he had an outburst.
I mean really! The Mayan calendar,
going into battle. I hope we all
have long days upon the Earth!
Fox... we’re getting married.
Right! Sorry. Finish! Please!
(trying not to laugh)
You may now kiss the bride.
Mulder smiles sheepishly and goes to kiss Maria.
Mulder and Maria part and turn to face their
friends. Mulder's hands, still holding her's, go up in the air with
WE’RE MARRIED! WOOHOO!
TIME CUT TO:
INT. HANGAR DECK – LATE NIGHT
The song “Jump” by Kriss Kross is playing loudly
through out the entire hangar deck as the reception for Mulder and
Maria’s wedding has been going for a few hours. At the center of the
dance floor, and the only two people out there, are Mulder and Krycek.
They are dancing to this song, “Jump”, which is performed by kid rappers
from the early 1990s. As with everything Mulder and Krycek, they are
doing the exact same steps at the exact same time, yet this is less
spooky as all the other things they do at the same time because they
have choreographed a dance number to this music.
The song ends and everyone claps and they take
their bows and leave the dance floor to go back to their table, and
despite tradition of the wedding party being the center of attention,
Mulder and Maria wanted to sit with their friends.
Mulder plops down in a seat, exhausted from
the dance routine, and is next to Skinner, who pats him on the back.
That was some dance routine boys.
Thanks, Krycek choreographed it.
Skinner raises his eyebrows and looks over at
Krycek, who is nodding his head proudly.
Well, Fox, Maria, I think Mon
and I are going to head out
for the night.
Oh that’s fine, Mr. Rohrer. It
was most pleasant to have the
two of you here to celebrate our
joyous union. In fact, I think it
would be wise for all of us to catch
our Zs, as tomorrow marks a very, very
important day in history.
Well said, Maria.
She smiles sweetly. Knowle and Monica go over
to Mulder and give him a hug, as with Maria and say their goodnights.
Mulder and Maria look to Skinner, who yawns.
To be honest... I should have head
out when John and Dana did to get
Katie to sleep an hour ago.
That’s all right Skinman.
Please don’t call me that.
It was either that or Shiny Top again.
Just because you’re on look out
in Sector 42 tomorrow doesn’t mean
you shouldn’t enjoy your wedding night.
Skinner wiggles his eyebrows at Mulder, who
smiles, knowing full well he’s going to have a wonderful night with
his new wife.
Good night Cue Ball.
Skinner leaves the table, leaving only Mulder,
Maria, and Krycek.
I’m so happy for the two of you,
I hope you know that. I know I wasn’t
able to get that message across very
clearly in my speech, but...
Alex, your tears of joy during your
speech let us know just how happy you are.
She smiles and leans over and gives him a little
kiss on the cheek. The song “Always” by Bon Jovi starts to play.
Marita approaches the table and Krycek looks
up at her.
Alex... would you like to dance with me?
She offers her hand to him and he takes it as
she leads him out to the dance floor.
Mulder and Maria watch them as they slowly dance
to the song. The song that Krycek and Marita consider to be their
On the dance floor...
Krycek holds Marita close to him.
Sasha, I’m sorry I screamed “no”
to your proposal today. I just...
I want our moment, our day to be a
special one shared only with us. (beat)
I share everything with my sister, our
birthday, clothing, and we even look similar.
I wanted to have a moment all for us. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry I didn’t think of that. It’s
just that tomorrow I head out to Sector 42
and there’s no telling what will happen.
Even though our mission is to sit back and
pretty much observe and alert, it doesn’t mean
that everything will go according to plan, you know?
I know and I wish I would have been more
sensitive to your feelings. I never wanted
you to think that I didn’t love you. Because
Sasha, I’ve loved you since the moment I met
you. Even if I never told you, I was afraid that
things wouldn’t work between us because of our
involvement with the Syndicate. I’ve seen so many
marriages fail because of that group – my daddy included.
I didn’t want that to happen to us. (beat) And sometimes
I honestly feel that you love Mulder more than me.
I can’t tell you how many times people have asked
me if you are gay or not because they’ve seen
you do this or that with Mulder and –
My heart beats just for you, Marita. And I
may be bad at expressing that from time to
time because I love you that much and I really
haven’t been all that mature lately.
I miss you Alex... the real, soft-hearted, well
spoken you from years and years ago... the you
from before you moved in with Mulder. Back when
our world and the people we trusted were just you and I.
He pulls away from her and looks her in the
eyes, holding her face in his hands.
Marita, you fill my empty heart with
life every time I see your beautiful
smile. Your smile and the smell of your
perfume remind me of better times before
our world crumbled around us. You have and
always will be my constant, my touchstone.
You make me feel whole and alive, even when
the world around me is unpredictable, you
make me see things clearly in unclear times.
I will marry you, Alexander – and not just
“by the heart”. I want to be Mrs. Alexander
Sergeiovic Krycek The Second Junior
until the day I die.
Krycek smiles and pulls her into a passionate
At the table... Mulder and Maria sigh with happiness,
having watched them make up. Mulder takes hold of Maria’s hand.
How about we get outta here.
They get up from the table and leave, not saying
goodbye or goodnight to Krycek and Marita, but rather letting them
dance out the rest of their dance.
INT. MULDER & KRYCEK’S QUARTERS – SOMEWHAT CONTINUOUS
Mulder opens the door to his quarters and picks
Maria up, carrying her over the threshold. It’s a good thing Krycek
and Marita made up on the dance floor or else poor Krycek wouldn’t
have a place to sleep for the night!
Mulder sets Maria down onto her feet and kisses
her passionately as he shuts, and locks, the door behind him. He unzips
her beautiful gown, which drops to the floor. Wrapping her arms around
him, they move to the bed and fall onto it. Maria strips Mulder’s
shirt off and tosses it across the room. She leans back to watch him
remove his pants, she eyes him seductively.
(sweet and innocent)
Be gentle with me. I saved
myself for you, Fox.
Mulder tosses his pants to the floor and removes
his boxer shorts. Maria’s eyes widen at the size of his manhood.
My God! That thing is HUGE!
From somewhere deep inside her sweet and innocence
comes a very sexy, yet devilish laugh as Mulder crawls on top of her.
INT. KNOWLE & MONICA’S QUARTERS – BEDROOM
Candles are lit to romantically illuminate the
room. Knowle kisses Monica passionately, grasping her breast in his
hand. She holds onto his strong arms and moans in pleasure.
So the doc said you could conceive?
Said there was only one way to know.
She kisses him again, wrapping her arms around
his neck and pulling him to her. And as they get into what they are
doing, Monica’s mind suddenly becomes distracted just as Knowle brings
her and himself to climax. He kisses the top of her head and then
notices the strange look on her face.
What is it?
I hear them...
They’re here... they’ve come back.
She looks up at Knowle, who gives her a puzzled
look, not sure who she is talking about.
I can hear their noises – the aliens.
They’re in close proximity.
This alerts Knowle.
How close are they? Are we in danger now?
No... not now... I feel that they
are waiting... for something.
I should alert the Captain.
He reaches for his phone, but stops... thinking
about the Captain and the man he is most likely watching over – Charles
Spender, the Cigarette-Smoking Man. He looks down at Monica, thinking
of the chip in her neck. Remembering back to the same chip Scully
had in her neck and how she could feel the aliens when they were near
because they were tracking her.
She looks up at him.
When you say you feel them,
what do you mean? Where do you feel it?
All over, I guess. I don’t really know.
Knowle gently places a hand on the base of her
neck, where the chip has been placed.
Do you feel it here?
Knowle’s entire body relaxes.
I just feel it, like when I felt
this overwhelming sensation to
heal Dana. Or how I was able to
fight the aliens hand-to-hand. I
can just feel it.
She looks up at him, reading into his thoughts.
I can read your thoughts.
She hasn’t been able to do that since the aliens
first arrived before Colonization.
It’s not the chip, Knowle, don’t worry.
How bad are the voices? Can you hear others?
No... just you right now because
I was curious if I could do it again.
So you can turn it on and off so to speak?
Yes... I can control it.
She shuts her eyes then opens it again.
Think something – anything.
Knowle looks at her and thinks of something.
He smiles at her.
I don’t know what you just thought
but that smiles has me curious.
Sunny days, sweeping the clouds away...
You’re a goof, you know that?
I should let the Captain know. I mean
do you still hear them even though you
shut it off to me.
I don’t, I think it came so suddenly
because I wasn’t expecting it.
Do you understand them?
No, but I can feel what they want
to do. (beat) Though I do know that
Marita can understand the aliens...
Knowle and Monica both ponder how that is possible,
but figure it’s just part of being the daughter of one of the most
powerful Syndicate members...
I’ll alert the Captain.
TIME CUT TO:
INT. NAVIGATION BRIDGE – EARLY MORNING
DECEMBER 22, 2012
Captain Scully peers out at the ocean. Early
morning fog has rolled in, surrounding the Pequod. Snow falls silently
and the Earth is still, as if preparing for the inevitable tremble
that will happen upon it today. The Captain looks thoughtful as he
scans the horizon. Even though they’ve planned this battle, the unforeseen
has already happened. The news of this came late last night when Knowle
called him to tell him what Monica had heard. Are the aliens out there
right now watching them, lying in wait, hidden by this fog? He looks
down for the first time this morning at the flight deck and spots
a dozen or so gigantic snowballs all over the deck.
Good lord. Charles!
His son enters the bridge eating an apple and
takes a bite.
(mouth full of food)
Why are their giant snowballs
on the flight deck?
Charles goes over to a window and peers out
at the flight deck down below.
Oh god. That has to be the work
or Mulder and Krycek.
Any other day I’d have them clear it off
but they are getting ready to head out to
Sector 42 – I want them as focused as possible
and not worrying about any repercussions. I
want you to get a team of men to clear that deck.
I’m on it.
Charles runs off and Captain Scully scowls down
below at the mess of giant snowballs. What in the world were those
INT. READY ROOM – CON’T
Mulder and Krycek are geared up with their military
fatigues, bag and snow gear. Knowle hands them helmets.
We’re not joking when we say
we need aluminum foil to line
It blocks out the aliens mind
You know that’s just a myth.
Knowle stops and thinks for a moment... a myth
told by several people. He holds up one finger, telling them to wait
and not move, he’ll be right back.
Mulder and Krycek look at each other and shrug.
Buddy, John and Dana’s dog comes up to them. He’s geared up for battle
as well, wearing a Kevlar vest and a helmet on his head.
Hey there Buddy, you look all
ready to go and fight, huh?
The dog barks and wags his tail.
Say Alex, don’t they say that dogs
are really good at sensing aliens?
You’ve told me as much.
Then Buddy is super duper important.
They both lean down and pet the dog, who’s tail
starts to wag faster.
Knowle comes up to them with Monica and some
Ok boys, we’re going to put this
to the test. Line your helmets with
He hands Mulder the aluminum foil and the boys
quickly start to line – as if they’ve done this a lot – their helmets
with aluminum foil. They place the helmets back on their heads and
look at Knowle, expectantly.
Ok. Good. Now, think of something
and Monica will tell you each what
you are thinking – if she can.
Mulder and Krycek think really, really hard.
The boys nod their heads, not wanting to speak
so they can hold concentration on their thoughts.
Knowle looks to Monica, who is trying to read
their minds. She looks at Knowle and shakes her head. He nods.
All right, now remove the helmets.
Mulder and Krycek remove their helmets at the
same time. And suddenly, Monica’s head is filled with:
(inside Monica’s head; singing)
The one I adore,
Love you forever
I'm just a fool,
A fool in love with you.
Monica smiles at Mulder.
He’s singing “Earth Angel” in his head.
Chuck Berry, nice choice, Mulder.
Mulder smiles and she looks over at Krycek,
(inside Monica’s head; singing)
Upside, inside out she's livin la vida loca
She'll push and pull you down, livin la vida loca
Her lips are devil red and her skin's the color mocha
She will wear you out livin la vida loca Come On!
Livin la vida loca, Come on!
She's livin la vida loca.
He’s singing, what I’m guessing is his
favorite Ricky Martin song, “Livin’ La Vida Loca”.
Krycek smiles big. Knowle looks at them, and
can already guess the answer – she read their minds without the aluminum
So you couldn’t read their minds with
the aluminum foil lined helmets, right?
Correct. But once they were removed, I could.
Knowle nods his head.
Well boys... looks like we’ll all
be lining our helmets with aluminum foil.
They smiles proudly. They’ve already helped!
Get your gear ready, you’ll be
heading out soon.
They nod their heads and Knowle walks off to
address the rest of the room.
(deeper, more booming, commanding voice)
All right listen up! We’re going to
be lining our helmets with aluminum foil
to block the mind reading ability of our enemy.
Some laughs come from the crowd. Doggett looks
around, having just witness Knowle test this theory, so he’s going
to believe him.
(deeper, more booming, commanding voice)
I know some of you find that ridiculous
but if you want to help in this assault
you will do as instructed. (beat) We’re
passing out the foil now and I want all
of you to cover the interior of your helmet.
Knowle leaves the front of the room and approaches
Doggett, who is already lining his helmet.
William told me about Monica
hearing the aliens – what does
that mean for us?
A bigger fight than we anticipated.
Are we ready for that?
We fought them before with less
numbers and won because of the
artifact. Now, with our climate
already cold, it worries me that
they have returned. We can’t rule
out that they’ve mutated.
Knowle steps closer to Doggett, speaking to
him in a more quiet voice.
They’ve already learned how we
beat them before, who’s to say
any of that will work again. The
bullets that have been altered,
puncturing the base of the neck.
They could have left to build an
army suitable to fight us in any condition.
(beat) We have the Hybrids that we
know are strong in these conditions,
and now we have the aliens returning,
and god only knows what they have.
Doggett nods his head. Knowle’s words aren’t
encouraging, aren’t meant to get him ready to be “gung-ho” to fight
battle. His words are meant to keep him level headed and aware of
what they are fighting.
I’ve got to head out and make sure
Mulder and Krycek make it to their
transport safely. (beat) I’ll see ya later.
Knowle pats Doggett on the shoulder as he makes
his way to Mulder and Krycek. Doggett watches him walk away, his words
echoing in his mind. Will they win this? Can they? What will happen
if and when the aliens attack? Their reappearance is sudden, probably
meant to throw them off their plan. He looks down as he picks up his
weapons to pack in his rucksack. He checks them over to make sure
they are clean and ready to go.
TIME CUT TO:
EXT. LONG ISLAND BEACH – AKA: SECTOR 42 – DAY
Mulder and Krycek sit bundled up together with
an iPod playing. They share the earphones as they sing to Lady Gaga’s
Can't read my,
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she's got me like nobody)
Can't read my
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she's got me like nobody)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
Remember how fun it was to see
Lady Gaga in concert on the Azure!
Totally was groovin’, yo!
(continues singing alone this time)
I won't tell you that I love you
Kiss or hug you
Cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin
I'm not lying I'm just stunnin' with my love-glue-gunning
Krycek stops and is pensive.
What do you think that means?
I don’t know. I’m not a youngster.
You wanna re-enact “The Empire Strikes Back”?
Sure. I mean, it’s not like we get
a chance like this to play the scene
where Luke sees Obi-Wan on Hoth.
He turns off the iPod.
First things first though.
Krycek nods his head. And we’re thinking: Yeah,
it’s probably a good time to check in with Knowle on frequency 88.4,
Mulder pulls his rucksack in front of him and
opens it. Out pops Buddy, still wearing his Kevlar and his helmet
(which we all know is now lined with aluminum foil).
There you go Buddy, now you can do
your business without doing it all
over my candy bars.
Candy bars? What kind?
Really satisfies you.
Mulder pulls out two Snickers bars and gives
one to Krycek. They peel off the wrapper and both eat at the same
(after a beat)
So who’s going to be Luke?
Can I? I’m so good at drama!
Sure, since I was Luke last time.
And Buddy can be Chewie.
But Chewie wasn’t in this scene.
Hm. True. We could always
do another scene later.
They finish their Snickers bars and wad up the
wrappers and toss them into their rucksacks. Yes, on this mission
they bring an iPod, Buddy, and Snickers candy bars – and we can only
imagine what other things they brought to keep themselves entertained.
All right. I’ll head out over there
and be Obi-Wan. You make your way
over that snowy hill and be Luke.
They take their places and Krycek dramatically
falls to the snow, just like Luke Skywalker in “The Empire Strikes
Back”. Krycek slowly looks up, acting like he’s fighting off unconsciousness.
He sees Mulder (who is Obi-Wan Kenobi right now) and acts like he
wonders if he’s hallucinating. Mulder walks towards him, the snow
blowing around him.
(haunting, like Obi-Wan)
(weakly, like Luke Skywalker)
You will go to the Dagobah system.
There you will learn from Yoda, the
Jedi Master who instructed me.
Mulder ducks out of view of Krycek, as if he
just disappeared, just like Obi-Wan in the movie. And Buddy starts
to run towards Krycek, as if he is Han Solo arriving on the Tauntaun.
Krycek drops into “unconsciousness” as Buddy
rushes up to him, and pounces on him.
Krycek opens his eyes and smiles. Mulder runs
Oh my god! That was so fun!
And Buddy even pretended to be Han Solo!
Buddy licks Krycek’s face.
Mulder’s eyes have become distracted and Krycek
What? What is it? Is it the Hybrids?
No... it’s something else... something
a little mischief-like...
Krycek pops up to his feet excitedly.
Mulder points and Krycek looks, seeing buried
in the snow a crashed alien UFO.
What do you think is in there? Aliens?
I don’t know... maybe answers to
questions we don’t know how to ask.
D-d-do you think we-e-e s-should go in there?
It’s one of the biggest mysteries of
my life second to finding Samantha, which
means that right now it’s the number one
biggest mystery of my life – what does it
look like inside an alien UFO?
Mulder starts to walk towards the UFO and Krycek
grabs his arm to stop him.
Our gear, man. And also, we can’t
go running off to a UFO, we have
to keep look out and maintain
radio contact with Knowle or else
he’ll be pissed.
Then we’ll radio in first.
Mulder marches over to his rucksack and retrieves
the radio Knowle gave to them. He switches it on and finds frequency
Krycek sits down next to him.
(amused with a thought)
Hey, do you think he’ll speak
into the radio with his deeper
(deepens his voice to mock Knowle)
“I’m more manly and in charge voice”?
(mocking Knowle’s commanding voice)
I’m Knowle, I a tough guy and
can kill you with my thumb. Grr.
(laughing; then mocking)
I speak so deep to be more authoritative. Grr.
Imagine what he must sound like
in bed with Monica. (beat; mocking
in the deep voice) Ooh yeah baby,
I’m almost there baby, yeah. Oooh.
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. COMMAND CENTER – THE PEQUOD – CON’T
Knowle sits in front of the radio listening
to Mulder and Krycek, who have no idea he can hear them. Doggett stands
behind him trying not to laugh as the boys make fun of Knowle. It’s
true, he does speak with a deeper, more commanding voice when he addresses
a room full of military personnel. Doggett’s not alone in his humor,
Scully stands behind him covering her mouth, trying not to laugh.
Other men are doing the same.
Knowle on the other hand is not very amused
at all. Even Monica is trying not to laugh. He looks around the room.
How is this professional at all?
Ok, knock it off. We’re supposed to
be executing a serious mission here.
Sorry, it’s just... it’s true.
Knowle looks at him with a stink eye.
For the record, Knowle doesn’t sound
that way in bed, ok?
Scully bursts out laughing at another mockery
that Mulder and Krycek portray over the radio.
And then there’s Doggett and his
whole deeper commanding voice.
(beat; deeper mocking voice)
All right listen up folks
I’m a Texan and big and butch and
my ears stick out, but I like to
call ‘em Love Handles for Dana.
The room erupts with laughter and this time,
Doggett is not amused.
I don’t sound like that at all!
Knowle stands up, going to silence this room
once and for all.
(deeper, booming, commanding voice)
All right, enough! This is a serious-
He stops when the whole room bursts into laughter.
Everyone laughing except for him and Doggett, who share an irritated
Captain Scully decides to lend a helping hand.
He stands in the front of the room and puts his hands up to silence
everyone and it works.
Skyscraper to Doolittle, do you copy.
He can’t help it, he has his commanding voice
and it comes out, even when he’s going to talk over the radio.
EXT. SECROT 42 – CON’T
Mulder and Krycek stop mocking Knowle and John...
gosh, they sure hope no one heard their mockery.
You don’t think they heard, right?
Nah, he’d sound more pissed.
He did use his deeper commanding voice.
They giggle and we just know that Knowle is
rolling his eyes on the other end.
This is Doolittle.
And Pee-Wee, what’s up?
(filtered through radio)
Seen anything yet?
Nope. Nadda, nothing. But we did
find a crashed alien UFO we want
to go check out.
(filtered through radio)
Negative. You are to maintain
surveillance and zero contact with the enemy.
But it’s been my dream to see inside a UFO.
(filtered through radio)
I repeat, that is a NEGATIVE. You
are to stay put and maintain-
Mulder and Krycek are on their feet, holding
the radio as they head towards the UFO.
What are you going to do? Stop me?
(filtered through radio; serious)
Mulder, I swear, if you don’t do
as you are told-
You’ll what? Kill us with your thumb?
We’re at the entrance to the UFO now.
I can see inside it. It’s dark and
very mysterious. We’re going in.
(filtered through radio)
DO NOT go in there. We need
you on look out. You must go
back to your position in Sector 42-
(meaning to say “shut up”)
They switch off the radio.
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. COMMAND CENTER – CON’T
Knowle hits the radio as he tries to get contact
He turns the dial to another frequency.
Mulder?! Come in right this instant!
Nothing but static. He hits the radio again,
as if it will help.
Scully sits in a chair in the back of the room,
her hand to her forehead – “oh shit”.
What can they do? They broke radio contact and
there is no way to communicate with them.
Let’s get live SAT feed on
them right now.
What the hell good will that do?
We’ll at least be able to see them!
Eric, the Pequod’s tech guy turns to them from
across the room.
Sir, I’ve got them on SAT.
All eyes fall to the big screen in the room,
where a live satellite feed is showing Mulder and Krycek playing around
in the snow outside of the UFO. They seem to be dancing together,
going around in a circle with their arms linked like “dosey doe”.
And suddenly, the satellite feed goes to static,
as if something large has just destroyed it in it’s path.
CUT BACK TO:
EXT. UFO – CON’T
Mulder and Krycek finish their “dosey doe” and
give each other a high five.
Let’s go inside!
Woohoo! I am Will Smith!
Mulder and Krycek make their way inside the
As they enter the UFO, the Hybrids - going unnoticed
- are on the move, on their way to attack land colonies.
INT. UFO – CON’T
The UFO is dark, cold, and a little slippery
from the ice and snow that has gotten inside. Mulder and Krycek, with
Buddy close behind them, make their way deeper and deeper until they
find the cockpit of the craft. They stop in the doorway.
What does this remind you of?
Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum in “Independence Day”.
Exactly. (beat) Say, don’t you think that
Knowle looks a little bit like that hot
Area 51 guy from that movie?
Yeah, just a little bit. And Doggett
looks a little like the T-1000 in T2.
That guy gets naked and you can see his pee-nee.
Mulder hits Krycek.
I am not.
You are too.
They continue their fight as they take their
seats in the pilot and co-pilot seats of the alien UFO cockpit.
Say, what do you think this
Beats me, what about this one?
The boys start to push buttons in any random
sequence they please and suddenly, the craft is hovering and they
hear the entrance seal shut, air tight. Buddy whimpers.
Oh my god! Are we flying this thing?
I think so!
What do you think this button does?
Krycek shrugs his shoulders and Mulder hits
And ZOOM! The boys fly into the air, soaring
high above the Earth. They peer out the window and watch as the ground
becomes farther and farther away from them. They peer out the front
window and see that they have left the atmosphere. Space and stars
are all around them and they look around mesmerized.
Buddy, scared, hops onto Krycek’s lap.
Look little doggy, you are the
first dog in outer space, and
the first to fly in a UFO. How cool!
(serious, a little scared)
Alex... What is that?
Krycek looks up from the dog and out the front
window where Mulder is looking. To their surprise, a large alien mother
ship hovers menacingly over Earth.
Dramatically, Mulder and Krycek look to each
other and after a beat, they let out terrified screams as they realize
the danger they have just put themselves in.
Off this, we...
TO BE CONTINUED...