INT. D.C. SUBWAY TRAIN CAR - NIGHT
FRIDAY, 17 DECEMBER 1999
It's gloomy... there is a stupid DJ on the radio talking about the holiday season...
Mulder looks at the radio like it has just commited a sin.... happiest time of the year! HA! Try working for Mr. Assistant Director Walter Sergei Skinner, and then try telling me this is the happiest time of the year! Normally, Mulder loves Christmas time, but not when he suspects that his crush (Dana Scully) is, how should we put it, involved with his boss.
is beat... his zoned out gaze falls to the floor.
MULDER'S POV - THE FLOOR AND HIS SHOES
The floor is a war zone... of bacteria and fungus...
and a more frightening sight... a scary boy band magazine cover. His
shoes, are dirty. He sees that he is standing on some tickets, he lifts
his shoe to get off the tickets... and they stick... we see a bright/dusty
pink piece of chewed gum on his shoe....
NEW ANGLE - MULDER
Standing up... (**NOTE: No one else is on the
train car**) He is hanging on to a pole, as he looks both ways to
see if anyone is watching... shruggs his shoulders, lifts his foot
up... and falls forward... but catches himself on an empty seat...
he snatches the tickets from his shoe... the gum is still on the
tickets, ew... Mulder picks off the gum and drops it to the ground...
a disgusted look is on his face....
INT. MULDER'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
The light of the fish tank luminates the living room...
with a blue tint. Mulder, we see, is dialing the phone ... speed dial
to Skinner's office, Skinner told him he was gonna work late. We hold
on this angle of Mulder for a few beats.
(breathing deeply, on phone)
Oh hi Scully!
I found these two tickets
on the subway, a uh... some
gave them to me.
And I was wondering
Isn't this... (beat)
I-I thought I was calling
Oh yeah. Here he is.
(irritated... he was busy...)
In the background, over the filter of the phone... we
here a desk lamp and papers hit the ground... we hear Skinner go WHOA!....
the line goes dead.
Mulder shrugs ... hmmmmm ... then Mulder frowns.
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. ALEX KRYCEK'S APARTMENT #40 - CON'T
ANGLE - KRYCEK'S DOOR
Flies open!! WHAM! Krycek looks startled and
quickly turns off the TV. We see Mulder standing in the doorway ...
he looks wired... possessed even.
You're coming with me!!
We hear the muffled sounds of conversation...
beeps of car horns... angry words toward someone...
EXT. ANDERSON THEATRE - DAY
SATURDAY, 18 DECEMBER 1999
Stands looking at the theatre in all it's glory...
as angry drivers pass him... he is standing in the middle of the road.... Krycek
is on the sidewalk behind him....
has to quickly pull Mulder away before he is
run over by a semi-truck... beeping at him...
INT. ANDERSON THEATRE - BALCONY
ANGLE - MULDER AND KRYCEK
Getting comfy in their seats.
Is bouncing in his seat... he's bouncing as if he's trying to accomplish something. It's like he's flying through an asteroid field in Star Wars! He leans over to Krycek to explain himself...
I just can't get my
butt in right.
He squirms some more.
Too much information.
THE LIGHTS DIM
(very child like)
Ooooh... it's time.
INTERCOM ANNOUNCEMENT COMES ON.
Your attention please (beat)
Our dancers at the Anderson
Theatre would like to remind you
that there is no food or drink-
Mulder pulls out potato chips,
the announcement reminded him that he brought snackies!
-allowed in this theatre. A reminder
That no flash photography is allowed-
At this, Krycek decides to pull out his little
camera and takes a picture CLICK, BRIGHT FLASH! of Mulder
eating his potato chips.
for your cooperation.
Enjoy the show.
Mulder throws a potato chip at Krycek.
Wasn't the Arabian
Dancer from November's
issue of Play Pen Magazine?
Yeah... I think so.
TIME CUT TO:
INT. ANDERSON THEATRE - BALCONY - 20 MIN LATER
Lights are out, Tchaikovsky's "The Nutcracker", Ballet Op. 71, Act I: Premier Tableau, No. 7 Scene - la Bataille: Allegro Vivo, is playing.
There are two women making their way to their seats ...
they finally find their seats in front of Mulder and Krycek... Mulder
has to remove his feet from their seats, after they look at him a
few times... he says "oh" ... he didn't realize they were
gonna sit there.
Right away, Mulder and Krycek start to sniff
the air. Their little noses cringe. There is a GOD AWFUL smell in
the air!!! Kinda like the smell from teeny-bopper magazines... perfume.
Mulder leans in towards Krycek ...
What is that smell?!
Smells like (beat)
They both simultaneously turn their heads to
look at the ditzs in front of them ...
First they take my
foot rest, and then
they smell like magazines!
All of a sudden, Mulder spots one of the dancers
dressed like a rat on the stage ... oh my God!!! Rats!!! All of a
sudden... Krycek pulls out of his tux coat a can of Root Beer. He
coughs very loudly and annoyingly.... and a dancer falls as Mulder
laughs loudly... and then after coughing... Krycek opens his can of
Root Beer. OOps ... everyone heard the can open ...
(laughing to himself)
Oops. (little chuckle)
I did that wrong.
NEW ANGLE - STAGE
The male lead dancer prances out ... from behind
the right wing ... ummm ... how to put this:
(yelling at the male dancer)
Get some pants on!!
hearing Mulder's comment..... laughs and spits
out his root on DITZ #1, then spills the rest of his can of Root Beer
on DITZ #2. They run out... to refresh their magazine perfume. Krycek
CHUCKLES to himself... Mulder gives him a HIGH FIVE.
Good one... Rat Boy.
(beat) Look! (re: Rats on
stage) There's your kind!!
Is laughing at his own dumb joke.
On the other hand..... wait... he only has one
arm.... or does he? We're still not sure how we're going to play that in "Fox & Rat"... ok... anyways... GLARES at Mulder (still laughing out loud)...
but before Krycek will hurt him... "The Arabian Dance" starts....
Huh? (beat) (gets it)
MULDER AND KRYCEK
Start to take pictures: CLICK, BRIGHT FLASH! CLICK, BRIGHT FLASH! of the Arabian Dancer ballerina. She's hot!
TIME CUT TO:
Finale of "The Nutcracker" ... Mulder
and Krycek stand up clapping ... then they realize no one else is clapping, so that means everyone else thought
it sucked, so they stop ... all is quiet, as they sit back down.
THE LIGHTS COME ON!
MULDER AND KRYCEK
Are all alone ... they must have pissed off everyone in attendance!!!!!
I told you he needed pants.