"Fox & Rat" Virtual Series - Season One

Review By: Cerasi J.

“We can be buddies!”

In this hysterical episode of FRVS Mulder stops by Happy Gilligan’s to pick up some groceries and meets there [of all people] Alex Krycek! First Krycek and Mulder face off in the Great Turkey Debate, and wind up having an in-store food fight! Suddenly, they pick up the pace by starting a race to see who can get out of the store and home first. It’s only then when Mulder makes the startling discovery that he’s not alone… in his apartment building!

1x01 "The Race"




 

Title: "The Race"

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Series: FRVS - Episode #002

Written by: Cassie & Kristi

Classification: humor

Rating: PG

Air Date: 12 September 1999

Date Written: ≈ July 1999

Summary: Mulder finds out that Krycek is his neighbor after scurrying around a grocery store.

Spoilers: None, we try to create our own stuff... but remember sometimes we have to refer to happenings in the actual show "The X-Files."

Disclaimer: "The X-Files" and its characters belong to 20th Century FOX Broadcasting. If you recognize it, it's not our own creation. Original characters belong to Cassie and Kristi (FRVS).

Feedback: foxandratvs@gmail.com

Archiving: "Fox & Rat" Virtual Series, and Semper Fi only. If you would like to include any of our episodes in your fanfic archive, please contact us at: foxandratvs@gmail.com

Author's Note: Sometimes the actions of these characters are cartoonish in nature. If you actually think that following their horrible example is a good thing to do, we are not responsible for your lack of common sense. The personalities of the characters within the world of "Fox & Rat" are not those you know from "The X-Files" television series. We have warped them and given them a common past, immature behavior and a sense of humor.

FRVS Website: http://www.foxandrat-xfiles.com/
FRVS Forum: http://serenityofx.forummotion.com/
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FRVS Google Group: https://groups.google.com/forum/#!forum/foxandrat
FRVS YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbY7NIW87ZOWfhJz7kP9CgA

 

 

 

FADE IN:

INT - HAPPY GILLIGAN'S GROCERY STORE - DAY
SATURDAY, 3 JULY 1999

There is happy elevator music, the kind you wouldn't want to listen to for a long time. We see MULDER walking down an aisle, opening a bag of sunflower seeds, he eats a few and moves on, putting the opened bag of seeds in his shopping basket. He grabs a box of "Lucky Charms". Mulder looks up to the ceiling and catches himself in the mirror in the corner where the walls meet the ceiling, he straightens his gray t-shirt.

MULDER
(to himself)
I need to work out...
I'm getting rather flabby.

Suddenly from around the corner appears Krycek, in his white t-shirt and leather jacket. He spots Mulder and glares. Mulder takes notice of this and glares right back at him and moves on.

Mulder enters the meat section of the store, he looks left then right before finally speaking to the employee:

MULDER
(to employee)
Two pounds of turkey, please.

The employee looks at him weird, wondering why Mulder would need two pounds of turkey. Krycek appears again, stands next to Mulder and rolls his eyes at him, obviously he heard how much Mulder had ordered. A few tense moments later, the employee brings Mulder his two pounds of turkey, it makes a loud noise as he plops it down in front of Mulder.

KRYCEK
(to employee)
One half pound of turkey, please.

Mulder feels stupid and quickly walks off to the bakery. He picks up a bag of white sandwich bread and starts to swing it around spontaneously hitting it against things to check the bread's freshness. He puts that loaf back on the shelf and picks up another and proceeds to do the same thing...

CUT TO:

POV KRYCEK, he's turning the corner to go to the bakery section and BAM! All of a sudden, he (the camera) is hit with a loaf of bread.

MULDER
(not knowing it's Krycek)
Oh! I'm sorry!!

After realizing it is Krycek, with an "oh shit!" he quickly runs off...

KRYCEK
(to himself and kinda to Mulder)
Oh, you don't get off
that easily, punk.

With that, Krycek picks up some sample chip dip, and tosses it at the back of Mulder's head. It hits, and Mulder is pissed! His head is drenched in chip dip! He stops dead in his tracks and knocks down a big display of soda cans... the cans come at Krycek (some exploding soda pop from the impact), attacking him, Krycek starts running after Mulder (who is heading toward the check out register), and almost falls... Mulder is quickly paying Bob (the cashier man), who is slow (first day at work).

He and Krycek understand this is now a game of who can get out of the grocery store faster. Krycek succeeds!!!!! (Kristi wins! Cassie cries!) He rushes out the door closely followed by Mulder.

They are speed walking down the street, unable to run because they are carrying paper grocery bags. They both keep checking out how the other is doing, they look like crazed mad men, hell bent on defeating the other in this race.

CUT TO:

EXT - MULDER'S APT. BUILDING - DAY - CONTINUOUS

Krycek quickly opens the door, it flies open almost hitting him in the face. Mulder is right behind him. They both go and check their mail... Mulder gives Krycek the look of "why are you in my apartment building?". They quickly sprint to the elevator. The door shuts behind them as they both press the button for the fourth floor. They glare at each other, both extremely out of breath. A few moments pass before the door dings open on the fourth floor and they haul ass to their respective apartments. Krycek's door (apartment #40) is right next to Mulder's (apartment #42), but Mulder is further down the hall. Mulder looks at him with despising shock, as Krycek opens his door and gives Mulder a "haha" smile and closes his door, he has won.

Mulder goes into his apartment, puts down his groceries, goes over to Krycek's apartment, and bangs on the door. Krycek answers the door, pretending he doesn't know Mulder, he smiles:

KRYCEK
(smart ass)
Yes?

MULDER
(accusingly)
You cheated!

KRYCEK
How?!

MULDER
Well... I didn't know
you live next to me!
(he pouts)

Krycek rolls his eyes.

KRYCEK
Well, now you know.

MULDER
(suddenly happy)
Hey! We can be buddies again!
Wanna watch Star Wars?

Krycek hears this and slams the door in Mulder's face and locks it... the headache of being Mulder's next door neighbor begins.

FADE OUT:

THE END


 

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