Review By: Cerasi J.
“Who the hell are you?”
In every journey there is a beginning and an
end, and it looks like the fabulous European Voyage series has an
end as well. This extraordinary closing episode begins with the
gang on the beautiful Mediterranean island of Cyprus where Krycek
swears he has grandparents. Forced to use his endless credit card,
Krycek winds up renting his own apartment and has dish-duty on top
of that! But just as Brad is figuring out why Mulder and Krycek
are breaking all the dishes, Scully is trying to figure out why
Doggett is acting so rude.
With feelings between Doggett, Reyes and Scully
temporarly patched up, the gang heads out to get some dinner and
explore the mystic Mediterranean island that is Cyprus. Scully,
however, leaves early and returns to the apartment to think-over
her feelings about John. The next day brings Mulder a new Super
Buddies member, Krycek closer to Marita, and Monica and Brad closer
to their wedding day. But what about the conflicted feelings between
Doggett and Scully? Will Doggett and Scully find romance before
it’s time to board the plane back to D.C., or will Doggett’s
fantasy of a European vacation slip away? Find out in this week’s
astounding new episode!
Title: "European Voyage: A Journey's
Series: FRVS - Episode #100d
Written by: Kristi & Cassie
Archiving: "Fox & Rat" Virtual Series
Air Date: 28 July 2003
Date Written: 2-4, 7-9, 13-14 July 2003
Spoilers: Past episodes of FRVS may be spoiled.
Disclaimer: "The X-Files" and its characters belong to 20th Century FOX Broadcasting. If you recognize it, it's not our own creation. Original characters belong to Cassie and Kristi (FRVS).
Author's Note: We hope you have enjoyed our 100th episode!
This is the final part…
Summary: The conclusion to the FRVS European Voyage.
INT. SKINNER'S OFFICE - 9:30 A.M.
Skinner has just turned on his computer
and is sorting through paperwork that has piled up on his desk.
His secretary, Kim, comes over the intercom.
Sir, Deputy Director Kersh is on
line three. (beat) He says it's urgent.
He picks up his phone and hits line three.
Sir, if this about me not wearing
a "Brotherhood" button at that last
meeting, I can explain-
-That's not why I'm calling
although I'll make a not of it.
Where the hell is everyone?
Skinner lets out a sigh.
Well, do you know how A.D. Follmer
had to marry Marita Covarrubias-
(no shit, get on with it)
Skinner pauses as Kersh interrupts him.
"He knew?" Skinner thinks to himself.
Yeah, so everyone is over in Europe.
And you're back.
And they're not because…
Skinner pauses, trying to remember why
they're not back yet.
…Because, Alex Krycek took
their plane tickets and ran off.
Only he could do something that stupid.
Skinner can't argue with that.
Anyway, how was the wedding? Did
Brad piss the shit out of his parents
by saying 'no'?
Yeah, how did you know he would do that?
He told me.
He told you?
Yeah, at the cook out at my
house two weeks ago, remember?
(beat) Oh wait, you decided not to come…
That last line rubs off a bit bitter towards
Skinner in a sarcastic way.
I told you, I had other plans.
Sure you did, Walt. You were
just bitter that I beat you by a
mile that last time we golfed.
I have work to do.
Skinner hangs up the phone, and looks
at the dreadful pile of paperwork on his desk.
INT. SMALL APARTMENT HALLWAY - LIMASSOL,
Krycek is leading everyone down the hall.
They are all carrying their bags. Scully is having some trouble with
I didn't know you had relatives
here Krycek. So are they
grandparents? Uncle? Aunt?
You'll see when we get there.
(beat) Oh, and they don't
speak a word of English.
I thought you knew which
apartment they were in.
He stops in front of a door.
It's this one.
He knocks on the door. After a beat, the
door opens and an old man opens the door.
His arms open going to give this guy a
Who the hell are you?
Krycek has the "oh shit" look on his face.
(BS-ing his way)
Grandpa, it's me…
I don't know you! Get out
of here you crazy kids!
The old man slams the door.
I thought they didn't know English.
Why won't he let us stay with him?
Alex, that's not your grandpa, is it?
Krycek starts to walk off.
No. I was trying to get a free place
to stay while we're here. You know,
like Clark Griswold in "European
Vacation" when they went to Germany…
So wait. He's not your Grandpa?
No, he's not.
(not too happy)
So we're going to have to
stay in another hotel?
I guess we could rent an
apartment using my
endless credit card…
Krycek walks off, followed by Mulder and
Did he say "endless" credit card?
I think so…
What does that mean?
Knowing him, it's probably
They start to follow Krycek, Mulder and
Mulder and Krycek are in the small kitchen
washing dishes by hand. Krycek looks around rather suspiciously. He
drops a plate to the floor. It breaks. Mulder hits him on the arm
and mouths off "Stop that" to him.
Brad, Monica, and Doggett are sitting
on the couch in the living room watching an episode of "Will & Grace"
dubbed in Greek.
It's not as funny in Greek.
Doggett starts to laugh at the TV. It's
a fake laugh. Monica looks at him.
John, it's not funny even if you
pretend to find it funny. Stop it.
Doggett stops laughing.
Scully walks into the room wearing her
purple bikini with a long sheer light green flower print skirt. Brad
whistles at her when he sees her. Scully flashes him a flirty smile
and turns 360 degrees so all can admire her.
Why thank you.
In the kitchen (O.S.) another dish is
Why are you dressed like that, Dana?
Well we're on an island. Why not dress
appropriately. I'm so glad we're finally
gonna spend some time on a beach. It's
been years since I've been to a beach. The
last time was new years several years ago.
Walter and I were in Hawaii-
-Ya know, these Will and Grace
characters. (laughs) They remind
me of John and Mon'.
He laughs again. Scully turns her attention
to the TV. She sits down on Monica's lap.
Wow… Brad, you understand
Greek? (beat) That's kind of sexy.
Russian is close to Greek! I'm sexy!
Not when you say that.
I wasn't talking about you, Alex!
(beat) So let's go to a beach and tan.
Why not swim? (sarcastic) John would
love to swim in a big sea. Right Johnny?
Shut your trap, Mon'.
He glares at her. Another dish breaks.
Well, first I'll tan and then swim and
then tan some more before coming back.
So John… do you wear a speedo or swimming trunks?
She smiles at him.
I'm not going. I'm stayin' here.
He angrily points at the couch cushion
he's sitting on.
Scully gets off of Monica's lap and plops
down next to John. She plays with the buttons on his shirt.
Oh come on John… don't you wanna get
out of this silly button-up shirt and slip
Into something a little more… comfortable…?
She unbuttons the first button on his shirt.
The color of his face is fast turning to shades of red.
Uncomfortable, John stands up. Scully
falls over on the couch.
Stop… stop… stop whoring yourself.
He storms out of the room. Brad, Monica,
and Scully are shocked at what he said.
Did he just call me a whore?
I'm sure he didn't mean it.
Scully stands up and shuffles into the
Alex… Fox… do we have any wine coolers?
She disappears into the kitchen.
I know. I'll go try to talk to him…
Monica stands up and goes to the room
that John stormed off to. She knocks on the door.
John, why'd you lock yourself in the bathroom?
I went into the wrong room…
You went into the wrong room?
Because I didn't mean what I said.
Then why'd you say it?
There is no answer from John.
The door slowly opens and John's hand comes
out and drags her in, slamming the door.
Another dish crashes to the ground in
the kitchen. Mulder and Krycek start to giggle. Brad stands up and
goes into the kitchen.
What are you two doing?
Yeah, they're done.
Brad looks at them, and then down to the
ground where all the broken dishes are.
(re: broken dishes)
What's this about?
They slipped out of our hands.
Hmm… and where exactly
are the clean dishes?
How many clean dishes are there?
You broke them all, didn't you?
Yeah, we didn't-
-Shut up! We weren't suppose to let
anyone know we were breaking them
so we didn't have to do them.
That's going to cost you.
Oh don't worry about it.
I have an endless credit card.
He gives Brad a big smile.
What is this endless credit card?
Well, I've wired my credit card so
I have access to a load of money.
Actually, it's more like stealing from
the Smoking Man, so it really doesn't
count. So then it's not even stealing
really… but more like-
Brad looks at him like he's insane.
O.S., Scully can be heard bawling her eyes
Oh no… Is someone upset?
Yeah, Doggett called Scully a-
-He doesn't need to know.
John called Scully a what?
(all better now)
Oh, ok. (beat) Let's go out for dinner!
O.S., Doggett can be heard yelling in
This is all your fault!
Doggett yells some more. Mulder looks disturbed
and worried again.
(not wanting worried Mulder)
Oh wow! Where?!
He runs to the window and looks up at the
I don't see them!
Let me out, John!
The bathroom door flies open and Monica
At this moment, Scully comes shuffling
out, not crying.
I feel better now…
Why do you always blame me for everything?
Because I have B.M.S! (beat)
"Blame Monica Syndrome"!
Monica's eyes widen, and she snaps a glare
over in Scully's direction.
You said he wouldn't hear!
I didn't know he-
Mulder comes over to them skipping and
clapping his hands.
Ok happy Super Buddies!
Let's go out for dinner!
INT. LAS PLAMAS RESTAURANT - 8:13 P.M.
This small restaurant is dimly lit. The
tables are round and small with red and white checkered table cloths.
The restaurant is empty until the gang comes in.
This looks nice and cozy.
Yeah, and it looks like there are
only four seats to a table.
Getting Monica's hint: Monica, Brad, Doggett
and Scully quickly sit down at a table, leaving Mulder and Krycek
standing. Mulder and Krycek share a look, go over to another table
and take two chairs.
Mulder pulls up a chair, and scoots it
in between Brad and Monica. Krycek pushes his way in between John
A waiter comes by and gives them all ice
water and menus.
Mulder, the idea of you
eating next to me-
-Don't worry, I won't make
a mess or anything. I'm
not a messy eater.
Move over there, next to Krycek.
I'm tellin' you, don't worry.
I'm not gonna-
As if it were on cue, Mulder spills his
water on Brad.
Brad gives him a look.
Ok, I'll move over there.
Mulder quietly moves over, sitting between
Scully and Monica.
(still Mr. Grumpy)
Geez Mr. Follmer, why don't you
just yell at him if you really wanted
to scare him into spilling his drink
on you?! Especially to prove some
kind of stupid point!
Brad looks at him… "what the hell?"
Scully stands up and excuses herself to
go to "the little girl's room".
I hope the idea of Super Buddies-
-Would you shut up about that
stupid group? I'm so sick of how
everyone is so much happier than I am.
So you're like Mr. Grinch, huh?
Doggett glares at him.
Scully is returning to them.
Wow, guys the hottest man is sitting
at the table back there. He's tall, dark
handsome, and he smiled at me. Maybe
traveling with you guys through Europe
will finally pay off.
She gets to her seat. Doggett stands.
Here, let me get that for you.
He pulls her seat out for her. She smiles,
happy that he's finally being nice. But as she takes her seat, Doggett
pulls the chair out from under her. Scully falls to the ground with
a HARD THUD.
(not meaning it)
Oops! I'm sorry Agent Scully. I didn't
mean to do that. I hope the fall doesn't
put a limp in your walk.
Doggett takes his seat, leaving Scully
on the ground. She gets up on her own and grabs her chair and sits
down. She pretends that John isn't even there.
Way to win a lady's heart, John.
He gives him a sarcastic thumbs up.
Shut up, Mr. Follmer.
Ok, that's it.
Monica stands up and goes towards Doggett,
grabs him by the ear and pulls him out of his seat.
What the hell are you doing?!
You're coming with me.
She drags him to the back of the restaurant
and into the ladies room.
INT. LADIES ROOM
Monica lets go of his ear.
What the fu-
-Shut up! You're going to listen
to what I have to say. (beat) You'll
thank me later.
She waits a beat before continuing to make
sure John won't talk.
Good. (beat) Stop being such a bitch.
I'm no a bitch!
Then stop acting like one!
What is going on in that
little pea brain up there?
She hits him on the head.
No kidding! (beat) Why did you
make Dana fall to the ground?
I thought you like her!
Then what the hell, John?! You call
her a whore! You bitch and yell at her
in Switzerland and now here.
(not mad… more whiny)
I know… I just… I don't know.
Then why did you say: "I know"?
Doggett starts to pace the room, rubbing
the back of his neck.
What is it now?
It's because of Paris.
Paris? You're still not over Paris?
Paris was my setting. It was
suppose to be the beginning, ya know?
A time of change for me.
Monica looks down at her diamond engagement
ring… if only John knew that she and Brad got Paris… but that would
turn into a whole new argument…
Paris is completely ruined forever.
There will be another time. (beat)
This still doesn't explain why
you're acting like such a child.
I'm not acting like a child.
Yes you are.
No I'm not.
She stops herself from continuing this
fight… it could get ridiculous like a Mulder/Krycek fight… and they
don't need that. She lets out a sigh and they are both silent for
It's because I'm mad at myself.
You're mad at yourself so you
blame Dana? You even take
it out on Brad.
Because I don't like him.
Monica gives him a look. It hurts her to
hear him say this, but now is not the time to get into that topic.
Then why Dana?
I don't know.
You should grow up and
go apologize to her. (beat)
And to everyone else.
But you have to mean it.
Good. (beat) Let's go.
They leave the ladies room and head back
to the table.
Scully and Mulder are not at the table.
Brad and Krycek are the only one's there. Brad doesn't look to happy
(Mr. Ego returns…)
You're just jealous.
Brad rolls his eyes.
Outside with Mulder.
Doggett nods and heads out the door. Monica
sits next to Brad.
Ok, the aura is very murky…What's wrong?
-He's just mad cuz I'm da man.
He winks at Monica.
In other words, he's been talking
about, and I quote this: "Monica would
want my Russian Love Gun", and he
goes on and on about it.
No I wouldn't.
Krycek continues his ego and lifts his
eye brows at her, and licks his lips. Brad and Monica are not amused
EXT. LAS PLAMAS RESTAURANT
Scully is crying in Mulder's arms. John
has been so mean to her ever since they left Paris. She can't take
He pats her back.
You're bum will feel better after a while.
Scully looks up at him confused… that's
what he thinks she's crying about?!
It's not that… it's…
She can't go on and cries harder, and
buries her face in Mulder's arms.
I just… he's so… (sniff)
and… so… hates me!
She bawls even harder. Mulder looks confused,
not getting what she was saying.
Mulder jumps up like a jack-rabbit and
is in John's face in no time. As a result, Scully falls into the street
Dammit John. You can't treat Dana this
way. Obviously, you don't understand her
the way you want to, or think you do. If you
were a smart man, you'd forget about trying
to apologize to her right now and let the both
of you sleep all this tension off. I can see that
you're angry with yourself, but that is no excuse
for calling my friend a whore, or treating her the
way you have been since the unfortunateness of Paris.
Doggett doesn't know what to say, he can't
believe Mulder had paid attention to everything and he's speaking
in a serious tone with him.
Good. (beat) Now let's go back
in and have some din-din, ok?
Mulder turns Doggett around and pushes
him back into the restaurant.
We pan down to where we last saw Scully,
however she's no longer there.
INT. LAS PLAMAS RESTAURANT
Mulder and Doggett take their seats. There
are two large pizzas on the table.
(happy & back to goofy)
Oh goodie! Dinner is served.
Doggett looks around the table.
No one hears him.
TIME CUT TO:
INT. RENTAL APARTMENT - 11:08 P.M.
Mulder, Krycek, Brad, Monica, and Doggett
have returned from dinner and a visit to a local bar. Doggett is carrying
a box of leftover pizza.
Shh… it's late we don't
want to wake the neighbors…
They both giggle. Mulder and Krycek run
into one of the bathrooms, they are racing.
I want the comfy bed, not the floor!
Doggett rolls his eyes at his tipsy friends
and notices Scully sitting out on the balcony. He looks back at Monica
and Brad. They've fallen onto the couch kissing.
Doggett steps out onto the balcony. Scully
looks at him, then quickly looks away.
Hey… would it help you feel better
if I told you I brought back the best
damn cheese pizza you'll ever eat…
She steps away from him and holds her arms
out to keep him at a distance.
Oh shit. Now you're gonna
push me over the balcony, right?
Doggett steps toward her.
Scully crawls over the balcony rail.
You come any closer, I'll let go.
Doggett sets the box of pizza down on the
Dana… now is no time to reenact "Titanic".
He stretches his arm out.
Now come back over
before something bad happens.
No. I'm mad at you.
You're a big meanie.
Have you been drinking?
No. I don't drink when I get upset.
When I get upset I… I… I don't know.
Will you come back over?
You're makin' me nervous.
Why? Because we're up high? Ya
know, heights are not that bad! You're
such a wuss sometimes. Even Marita
wouldn't be afraid of heights.
Why are you upset about us being up high?
I'm not! I'm upset with you!
She climbs back over to the other side.
Doggett takes her hand. She tries to pull away from him, he doesn't
Dana, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for everything. For keepin'
you from going to the top of the Eiffel
Tower, for speaking to you in a tone
of voice I normally have reserved for
Monica, for pulling the chair out from
under you… for making you cry…
He looks down at her, she's starting to
cry again. Doggett feels bad. He didn't mean to make her cry again.
Don't cry… cryin's not good.
I can't help it.
She wraps her arms around him and pulls
him into a hug. He wraps his arms around her.
So… we're ok now?
Shh… this is where talking is not needed…
They stand in silence, hugging each other.
Feeling that the moment is right, John uses his right hand to lift
Scully's face up so he can look at her. He inches in to kiss her…
when his lips are mere millimeters from hers:
Oh my God! Alex!
Krycek runs out onto the balcony.
He hides behind Doggett and Scully. They
both wait a beat and look at him.
Are they coming?
Monica and Brad!
What did you do?
Nothing. (beat) I was just watching
some entertainment in the living room.
What kind of entertainment?
Oh, ya know… porn. (beat) Hey, they
shouldn't be doing that where some
regular ol' Joe, like myself, can just
walk in and watch. They were asking
for an audience.
There has to be an end
to all of this insanity…
Ok. (beat) Alex, back inside
to your room. John, go stop
Mon' and Brad, and I'll go
make sure Mulder is ok.
Krycek shuffles back inside, Scully and
Inside, Mulder is standing in the living
room. His mouth wide open. He's looking at Monica and Brad. They aren't
doing anything right now… but who knows what Mulder saw.
(loving like a mother)
Mulder… come with me…
She takes Mulder's hand and takes him back
into one of the bedrooms. Krycek goes into the bathroom with a pillow.
(to Monica and Brad; mad)
Hope you two are happy. Because
of you, I have to sleep in the tub.
Doggett stands before Monica and Brad
as if he is a father who just caught his teenage daughter with a boy.
Ok you two. I want you two
apart for the night.
-No 'buts'. Brad and I will
sleep out here. You sleep
in the same room as Dana.
Scully quickly exits the room Mulder is
Night guys. (beat) Goodnight John…
She winks at John and goes into the second
bedroom in the apartment.
Monica drags John into the kitchen.
You and Dana all right now? Oh
we're going to see if Marita is
vacationing at Aphrodite's Birthplace.
Do you believe in true love, Johnny?
'Cuz Aphrodite is the Greek Goddess of
Love. Maybe the location here on this
island will… ya know… bring you luck
in your love life.
I hope so. No go to bed.
Oh. Ok. I see.
She winks at him and leaves the kitchen.
She passes Brad on her way to the bedroom.
She kisses Brad.
Monica goes into the bedroom Scully is
in. Scully's back is toward Monica. Monica crawls into bed and lies
so her back is toward Dana.
Thinking that it is John who has crawled
into bed with her, Scully rolls over and curls up next to her, putting
her arm over Monica's waist. Scully's eyes are closed.
Hmm… John… I hadn't
realized you're so… curvy…
Scully nuzzles up next to Monica.
Wait a minute…
Scully rolls Monica over. She jumps back
seeing it's Monica. Mon' waves at her.
Monica! I thought you were John!
I know. (beat) Nighty-night.
Monica rolls back over again and goes
to sleep. Scully is creeped out. Oops. She scoots away from Monica
and faces away from her as she goes to sleep.
TIME CUT TO:
EXT. PETRA TOU RAMIOU (AKA: APHRODITE'S
BIRTHPLACE) - THE NEXT DAY - 1 P.M.
This tourist spot is a couple miles west
of Limassol. Currently they are all walking toward the big rock that
is Aphrodite's birthplace. In the Mediterranean.
Off in the distance, something catches
Krycek's eye. Could it be… is it… Marita Lynn Covarrubias?! Maybe
Yes! I love European beaches!
He turns on his camcorder and runs ahead
of everyone else. Mulder watches his buddy curiously.
We see that Krycek is approaching… two
women (a blond and a brunette), they are tanning on the beach without
their bikini tops on.
Nude beaches! All right!
Mulder takes off running. Brad looks confused.
You know, you tell me he's straight.
He acts like he's not and then he's
interested in nude beaches…
You haven't seen his video collection, have you?
(watching Mulder & Krycek)
You said Mulder was married…
Any chance she's a brunette?
There's a brunette lying naked on the
beach. Maybe Mulder thinks it's her.
Johnny? Naked brunettes catching your eye?
Monica laughs at the horrified expression
on his face.
It's not hard to miss. Nude beaches
don't happen in Virginia. Plus, naked
women tend to grab male attention…
Brad puts his arm around Monica.
I know a certain brunette
who may catch your eye…
Doggett is appauled at this comment. Monica
and Brad laugh at him. Doggett walks fast away from them.
You two should really stop picking
on him. (beat) Say… Mon', wanna
go topless if we can find a way to
get rid of Alex?
Krycek comes running up to them.
Guys! Guess who I found!
Krycek grabs Scully's hand and drags her
over to where the nude blond and brunette are. There's a man with
them. This man is wearing Hawaiian print swimming trunks and sunglasses.
This man is… Jeffrey Spender!
Agent Spender? We haven't heard from
you in ages! What happened and why
are you here in Cyprus?
Scully sits down in the sand next to him.
I've been given an extended vacation.
Wow. Who gave you that?
Brad and Monica walk over.
Spender looks up at Brad and Monica and
immediately stands up.
How's your mother?
Uh… she's… doing fine.
That's funny… I thought she was
dead. Or at least that's what you
told me about two years ago when
you asked for a short leave.
I can explain, sir.
I got hit on the head and didn't
know where or who I was. Then
these pirates came and kidnapped
me and took me to Turkey. I was
there for a very long time until I dug
my way out of the jail and found a
boat that took me down here. Then-
-Save if for Deputy Director Kersh.
He's going to have a field day
with this, Agent Spender.
Spender goes quiet. He's freaked, only
now realizing just how deep the dung is for him…
I'm telling' ya! It was the aliens!
Mulder stomps on over to speak with them.
He looks at Spender.
Hi brother of mine. (beat) Monica you
believe in aliens, right? Well I was telling
John how aliens put a love curse on this
location and he told me aliens are
mumbo-jumbo. Then I reminded him that
"Jumbo" was my nickname and he was all
like- Oh my God! Jeffrey!!!
Mulder runs up to him and hugs him.
I missed you little brother!
Mulder runs up to him and hugs him.
You have a brother too…?
Yes! He's such a cute
little weasel, isn't he?
Mulder gives him a noogie.
The two women stand up, topless. Mulder
covers his eyes. One of the women whispers in Spender's ear.
Guys, this is Anna and this is Laura. (beat)
Anna, Laura, these are my friends Dana Scully,
Alex Krycek, and my boss Brad Follmer, and
my brother Fox Mulder.
Pleasure to meet you.
Nice to meet you. Who
is this other woman?
Monica Reyes, woman of decency.
They shake hands.
So Spender… are you sharing
these two beauties?
Well, you'll be sharing
them before the day is over.
(rolling his eyes)
Mulder has snuck off again… he's climbing
the rock of Aphrodite.
Doggett is watching him from several feet
away. Mulder gets to the top. He stands tall and proud. Doggett rolls
He looks back at everyone. Scully is approaching
him, dragging Spender with him. John cocks his head, he wonders who
this guys is.
John! I want you to meet someone.
Doggett walks to them.
John, this is Jeffrey Spender.
Jeff, this is John Doggett.
The two men shake hands. John acts all
So how do you know each other?
I actually work for the FBI. You
look familiar so I assume you do too?
Yeah, x-files division.
Jeffrey is Mulder's half-brother.
Doggett looks amusingly to Spender.
You don't say.
I'd rather not. We're not close… obviously.
Spender looks over at Mulder who is still
on top of Aphrodite's Brithplace. They watch as Mulder spits into
the water and giggles to himself.
So, Jeffrey, would you like to meet
up with all of us later tonight? Perhaps
for dinner or we could go out for drinks.
Sure. Would it be all right
if Anna and Laura accompanied me?
Sure. Let's meet up around eight?
There's this bar that looks interesting
called Aphrodite's Bar & Grill.
So, what happened with you
and… and… what was her name?
Yeah, what happened to Bindi?
I'll just say she didn't have
time for me and she left.
Oh, whatever. (beat) So
why are you with two women?
Thought I'd play the field
more. Ya know, become a player.
Trust me, bein' a player isn't
worth wasting your time with.
Dana makin' ya pay for that or something?
I'm not sure I follow…
I assume you two are a "thing",
bein' that I don't see Skinner here
with her and she was so eager to
introduce me to you.
Oh no, we're just friends.
Scully smiles at John and then at Spender.
Suddenly, behind them, Mulder falls off
the rock of Aphrodite. He lands in the sand. Spender looks over at
I see Mulder is still ignoring
that tall structure ban.
You should've seen him in Paris.
Mulder jogs up to them and puts his arm
on Spender's shoulder.
Hey ya Mulder. You and Alex still roommates?
Yep. And if you're comin' back to
D.C., you're welcome to stay with us
until you find a place of your own.
Thanks, but no thanks.
The smile on Mulder's face fades away,
but quickly returns with a thought…
Say… have you heard of this new
world peace organization called Super Buddies?
I've seen the T-shirts.
How would you like to get
your very own T-shirt?
Sure, what do I have to do?
Join Super Buddies.
Ok. Do I need to fill
out some application?
Nope! All you have to do is say:
"Mulder, I would like to be a member
of Super Buddies."
Spender shrugs, why not.
Mulder, I would love to be a
member of Super Buddies.
Ok! Oh Goodie!
Mulder hugs Spender. It's a crushing hug.
Spender looks to Scully and Doggett, unsure about what he's just gotten
TIME CUT TO:
EXT. RENTAL CAR
Mulder and Krycek are running for the
drivers side of the car. They start their bickering. Pushing each
other to decide who will drive the car.
Doggett, Scully, Monica, and Brad are
walking slowly behind Mulder and Krycek.
(to Mulder & Krycek)
Boys! Stop pushing. Someone might get hurt.
He pushes Krycek again.
I wanna drive!
Why do you act like their mother?
I don't act like their mother.
Mommy! Tell Krycek I get to drive!
Battle it out fairly.
Mulder and Krycek do as told and Mulder
He gets into the drivers side of the car.
Why do we let him drive?
It's better not to argue with them.
They all get in the back of the car. Mulder
starts to drive.
You're suppose to be
on the left side, Mulder.
Why would I want to do that?
Well gee… you're sitting on the
right side of the car, you're driving,
and over here they drive on the
left side of the road.
No, no, silly. That's only over in
England. You should know that
because you use to live over there.
(beat) Say, do you want to join Super
Buddies? My brother did, and I think
you should too. It would be so fun. Please…
But it would be so much fun.
We take all these adventures,
have game nights, and-
Mulder lets out a sigh.
One of these days… oh yes,
one of these days, Mr. Bradley.
Mulder continues to drive on the right
hand side of the road. Suddenly, another car comes around the corner,
coming right at them.
He swerves into the left hand side of
the road. Mulder says nothing, embarrassed that he thought he was
TIME CUT TO:
EXT. CITY ROADS OF LIMASSOL - 3 P.M.
Mulder seems to be getting the hang of
driving on the left side of the road. They see a sign with a circle
(pointing to sign)
What does that mean?
That means there's a
round-about coming up.
Mulder looks back at him confused.
It's when the road turns into
a loop and you have all these
cars getting on and off. Like
exiting a highway.
You've never driving in a round-about, Mulder?
Mulder shakes his head 'no'. He looks ahead,
a wee bit confused. His eyes widen when he sees it.
Oh god… so many cars…
Brad leans forward.
This isn't as hard as it looks.
Just stay in the outside lane.
The sign said our exit was
the first one, ok?
(unsure/almost to the point of panic)
They enter the round-about, and Mulder
immediately goes into the inside lane because he's scared of all the
cars coming on.
I said to stay in the outside lane.
I'm sorry… I got scared.
Brad looks over his shoulder.
Ok, once this car passes us, there's
a small opening. When I say so, move
into the outside lane. Ok?
This is so fun. We're just going
a round and a round… and where
we'll stop… Nobody knows!
He's highly amused and starts laughing.
Alex, Mulder doesn't need this now.
Ok, change lanes now.
Mulder is about to… but he's too slow.
Oh god… I'm sorry…
There goes our exit again.
This is going to make me ill…
Krycek laughs again.
Do you get car sickness?
Not usually, but all this
going 'round and 'round…
Don't worry, Mon', we'll get out of this.
Krycek is having a good ol' time laughing.
Mulder, get over now.
The outside lane. (beat) Nevermind.
Brad leans back in his seat… still watching
TIME CUT TO:
INT. RENTAL CAR - 7:45 P.M.
The round-about is empty. Mulder is still
going around in the round-about. Krycek is still laughing. Mulder
seems to be enjoying going in circles too. Doggett and Scully look
to be in pain. Doggett holds his head, and Scully looks forward in
a dead pan stare.
Monica is curled up in Brad's arms. She's
not taking The Adventure of the Round-About so well.
No you're not. (beat) Mulder,
for the last time, stop this
bull shit and get off.
Or else you'll have to deal
with me in a worse mood
than what I'm already in.
Mulder's eyes widen and he gets out of
the round-about ASAP.
Mulder, you're done driving
for this trip.
Sorry, I got carried away.
I want to go home…
Suddenly, Krycek starts to make a strange
noise, and it seems like he's holding back tears.
Who's sounding like a dying cat?
Scully leans forward.
Alex sweetie, what's wrong?
He can't answer and continues to moan loudly.
Do you feel sick?
He shakes his head 'no'.
Then what is it?
She pulls out some Kleenex for him. She
holds it to his nose and he blows loudly.
Scully puts her hand on his shoulder to
I -she -she shouldn't
be alone. I'm so worried for her.
He cries harder, if at all possible.
I love her. Why haven't we found her?
We will. We'll find her. No
one can be lost forever.
Scully quietly turns to Mulder and speaks
to him sternly.
Mulder, now is not the time
for you to get weepie.
Are we going back home?
Actually, we're meeting Jeff
for drinks at Aphrodite's Bar
and Grill around eight.
(not wanting to go)
Really? (beat) I want to go
home. I think I'm dying.
Brad hesitates a beat having been thrown
back by Mulder calling him "sir".
I think Monica and I have had
enough "fun" for one evening.
Would you drive us back to the apartment.
You are so whipped, Mr. Follmer.
Brad looks over at him.
What are you talking about, John?
She's the only one feelin' ill
and suddenly you've decided
that you've had enough?
I'm not following your thought, John.
Oh you know what I mean.
She's not feeling well and you
expect me to want to go out? I
want to be with her. That doesn't
make me whipped.
Well, since when are you two
making decisions like a couple?
We are a couple.
Monica sits up.
I'm really sorry I got you ill.
I was just having some fun.
I know. It's ok.
Brad opens the door and he and Monica get
We'll see you guys later. Be careful.
Brad shuts the door and Mulder takes off.
INT. APHRODITE'S BAR & GRILL - 8:07 P.M.
Mulder, Krycek, Scully and Doggett walk
in. It's a nice restaurant, more targeted for tourist and more Americanized.
They spot Spender sitting at the bar with
his Italian lady friends sitting on each side of him. They go over
to him. Krycek is still moping.
The bar tender comes over.
I'll have a dry martini.
Spender laughs a bit.
Hard drinker, huh?
I don't drink.
It's good to have a designated driver.
Especially after seeing Mulder drive.
You let him drive here?
He and Krycek battled it out.
So, brother of mine…
What have you been doing?
Well I told the Bureau that my
mother had died and that I needed
time to be with my family-
-I'm your family-
-Ya know to help keep
the emotional trauma down.
I didn't know your mother died.
She's alive and well, living in
New York City. (beat) Bindi and
I wanted time to travel the world
together. So… I lied to A.D. Follmer.
So why haven't you come back?
I got accustomed to the traveling
life. I couldn't stay in one place too
long. Amsterdam, Berlin, Prague,
Milan, Cannes, Madrid, Barcelona…
So many places to see and things
to do and women to meet.
He pulls Laura to him and kisses her on
the lips. They don't part immediately . They continue to kiss. Scully
and Doggett are getting uncomfortable. Scully lets out a small cough
to hint to Spender to stop. He doesn't.
Anna scoots her chair closer to Doggett
and places her hand high on his leg.
So you are American too, no?
Yeah… born in Texas and
spent my youth there.
So you are a cowboy? I
always am attracted to
sexy cowboys from United States.
She starts rubbing her hand up and down
his leg. Doggett shifts in his seat.
Is that so?
Anna nods her head "yes" and licks her
lips and crosses her legs so that he body's natural lean is toward
Doggett. Nervously, Doggett lets to his left where Scully is sitting,
only she's not there.
So are you married? Wait a moment,
I don't see a ring. Would you like to
go rent a room and we'll get our groove on…
Anna kisses Doggett passionately. In the
background we see that Spender and Laura have stopped their kissing
and are watching Anna and Doggett. John is too nervous to try to stop
There ya go, John. Let loose, relax
and get some good lovin'.
Scully comes back to the table. She's trying
hard not to get jealous over Anna and John's lip-lock.
Ok, so while you and your Italian
chick were lip-locked and this other
chick was making moves on John, that
obviously worked, I noticed Mulder and
Krycek had disappeared. I went to look
for them. They aren't here anymore. Oh
my God, John! Will you cut that out? I
don't want to get ill watching some
whore salivate all over you.
Upon hearing Dana say his name, John is
able to stop Anna from kissing him. Anna continues to be touchy feely
with him. She runs her fingers through his hair and smiles at Scully.
I think I'm gonna head back now.
Suddenly I'm not feeling so good.
Scully heads to the bar exit. Doggett de-leeches
Anna from him.
It was nice meeting you Jeffrey.
Maybe we'll meet again some other time.
I'll see ya back in D.C. now that
my superior knows I lied to the FBI.
Doggett exits the bar. Anna and Laura dedicate
all their attention to Spender.
EXT. APHRODITE'S BAR & GRILL
Doggett is jogging to catch up with Scully.
He gets to her and grabs her shoulder, stopping her. He walks around
her to face her. He sees that she's crying.
So you like that girl…?
You mean Anna?
Yeah… you like her?
She's attractive and all but
that's not important…
If I hadn't been there, you would
have slept with her, right?
No. What makes you think that?
I don't know. Maybe it was how
she had her tongue down your throat…
Doggett scratches the back of his neck.
I'm not a natural red-head. I'm
naturally brown with a tint of dark red.
(confused on how she got here)
My natural hair color is similar to
That woman who was all over you.
Maybe I'll let my natural
color dominate now…
Why do you dye your hair?
It bring out the color of my eyes.
I like your eyes.
They continue walking.
Wanna take a walk on the beach?
It's right across the street.
I'm not feeling up to it
you can go on without me.
Doggett puts his arm around her shoulder.
Aww… c'mon. I wouldn't want to
go without you. (beat) Plus, we'll
probably be heading back to D.C.
soon and there's nothing like taking
a walk on a beach on a Mediterranean
island, state side.
Scully seems hesitant, but a smile is forming
on her face.
I guess so.
They wait until the street is clear and
cross, making their way to the beach.
TIME CUT TO:
EXT. ANCIENT RUINS - 10 P.M.
Mulder is walking quickly, trying to look
sneaky in an obvious way. Krycek walks slow behind him.
I give up, Mulder. Marita is lost forever.
She may work for the U.N. but let's face
it, she lacks in the common-scenes department.
She probably got mugged in a country we didn't
go to, like Holland or Estonia. Or maybe she got
kidnapped and sold to some pimp in the Philippines.
Or maybe she's still in Paris waiting for me on the
Eiffel Tower, singing some sad love song that Edith
Piaf once san and now she's thinking that I left her forever…
Or maybe she was abducted by
aliens by the rock of Aphrodite.
Mulder doesn't look back at his emotional
friend, he's on the hunt for aliens and Samantha. Krycek stops walking
and turns around and walks back to where they came from. Mulder doesn't
About 27 minutes later, Krycek is walking
on a sidewalk on the main street of Limassol. Ok, so he's not walking,
it's more shuffling his feet along.
He stops when he sees a movie poster for
an upcoming film titled "Robot 2000". He puts her right hand on it
and drops down to his knees to see the credits. We'll recognize the
name "Marita Covarrubias" as the leading actress.
Krycek slowly lowers himself to the ground.
His hand makes a squeaky noise on the glass as he does down. Once
on the ground he curls up into a ball and cries.
INT. BOOKSTORE - 10:32 P.M.
Monica and Brad decided to go shopping
the moment Monica's stomachache went away. Monica is carrying a tourist
information book on Cyprus and the Limassol area. She also picked
up a paperweight of Aphrodite's Rock. Brad comes up to her. She holds
out the paperweight.
Think Dana will like this?
Well I did notice she has been buying
an awful lot of touristy souvenirs, so
I'll go out on a limb and say: yes,
she'll love it. (beat) I found something
you might want to take note of…
Brad takes Monica over to the SEX REFERENCE
Brad… I know we haven't been back
together for a very long time and we
haven't made love since before I ran
off to New Orleans without notice, but
I don't think we'll be needing any reference-
Monica shuts up when Brad holds up a book
title The Sexual Journey To Ecstasy: 202 Inventive Positions To
Bradley Markus Follmer…
Look who the authors are.
Monica looks at the bottom of the book
By Alexander Krycek and Dana Scully!
(beat) Oh my God! I have to buy this
Brad! How much is it?
Doesn't matter how much it costs,
let's just buy the damn thing.
We have to get three.
Brad gives her a questioning look.
On for us, one for my big black box
of blackmail and one for John.
She gives him a smile and picks up two
more copies. They go to pay for it. After buying it, Brad and Monica
go outside and find a bench to sit on. Monica flips through the book.
Wow. There's an introduction by Krycek
and instructions on how to use this book by Dana.
Monica speed-reads the intro and instructions.
If you're not use to the positions in this
book, they strongly advise you to start from
the first position and work your way up since
each different position advances in difficulty.
(laughs) Dana says that stretching before and
after will keep down muscle soreness.
Monica starts laughing uncontrollably.
Brad takes the book from her and flips through the book too. His eyes
Oh this is sad.
Well we have some nice nude pictures
of Dana and then some very bulky muscular
guy with a big dick posing with her with Alex
Krycek's head badly pasted on.
They must have done the photo shoot in
Vegas. I haven't seen any men in D.C.
that look like that. (beat) I wonder if
Dana is aware of this little book.
I wonder if she's seen any of the profits…
He flips to the beginning of the book.
"Da Man Publishing" copyright 2003.
(beat) That's this year. We've got a
first print edition. (beat) Are you going
to tell Dana about this?
Oh I will… when the time is right.
She smiles at him.
Let's go check on airline flights back to
D.C. I don't want to end up in China or
something with Mulder and Krycek. I'm
getting sick of them. Never mind I think
John needs to get home too. I can see
that all this travelling and time with the
boys is getting to him.
I can see why. But let's make sure
to come back here again someday… alone.
Maybe we could come here
for our honeymoon.
Actually, I was hoping we could
go on an African Safari.
Monica's eyes light up with excitement.
That's genius Brad! I've always wanted
to go on an African Safari!
And see lions and elephants in the wild!
Monica hugs him.
Ok, no more discussion about the
honeymoon destination. We're going to Africa.
They walk back to the apartment.
EXT. BEACH - 10:40 P.M.
Doggett and Scully are walking off the
beach and back to the main street of Limassol. They are holding hands.
They haven't talked for some time, and are enjoying each other's company.
They cross the street and are approaching Krycek, who is still on
the ground, curled up in a ball. He's not crying anymore.
Doggett is the first to notice him.
Scully looks ahead of them and sees Krycek
too. She lets go of John's hand and kneels down next to Krycek. Doggett
stands behind her. Krycek sadly looks up at her. His eyes are red
and puffy from crying.
Krycek pushes himself up and gives Scully
a hug and starts crying again. Scully wraps her arms around him too
and hold the back of his head with her hand. She whispers to him,
inaudible to Doggett.
A few moments later, Scully helps Krycek
to his feet. As they stand, Scully keeps her arms around Krycek as
he wipes the tears from his face.
John… Alex need to talk. Do you
remember how to get back to the apartment?
Doggett nods his head.
I'll see you later…
As he walks past them, he places his hand
on Krycek's shoulder and gives him an understanding look. Krycek slightly
nods to acknowledge him.
Wanna go sit on the beach and talk?
Krycek nods his head, still unable to speak.
The two of them head back to the beach.
INT. APARTMENT - 10:50 P.M.
Brad and Monica are packing up their suitcases.
They called the airport in Larnaca and reserved six electronic tickets
back to D.C. in the morning at 7 A.M.
Doggett returns and shuts the door behind
Hey Johnny! I have good news for you.
Doggett sits down on the couch.
We're finally going home tomorrow?
This brings a smile to his face. Brad comes
out into the living room.
Didn't you go out with Dana, Mulder and Krycek?
Yeah… we saw Jeffrey and his women.
One of them kissed me and that got
Dana all jealous…
Monica enters the living room now.
Did you loose everyone? (beat) Oh my
God, Johnny did you have sex with
some European woman? You look more
relaxed and less up tight.
Doggett stands up.
I didn't have sex with anyone. Dana
and I had a nice walk on the beach.
I see. (beat) And where is she now?
Talking to Krycek. He's still upset about Marita.
What about Mulder?
Don't know. He and Krycek left
the bar before Dana and I.
Doggett walks into another room to pack
up his things.
EXT. ANCIENT RUINS - 11:03 P.M.
Mulder is snapping photographs of some
Oh man oh boy! Skinman is gonna pee
his pants when he sees this!
Mulder snaps more photos.
A low humming noise is heard… it gradually
increases in its loudness. Mulder stops snapping pictures once he
hears this. He looks up into the sky and sees glowing lights slowly
flying in the distance.
Oh my gosh…
He watches these lights until they disappear.
Hold on Samantha… I'll find
you someday soon…
Mulder checks his watch and decides he
should head back to get some sleep for their next day in Cyprus, and
who knows they might end up in Spain or Andorra in a couple more days.
How exciting! Mulder jumps into the air and clicks his heels together.
EXT. BEACH - 11:05 P.M.
Scully and Krycek are sitting in the sand.
Krycek hasn't said anything since they got there. He's drawing with
his finger in the sand in front of him. Finally he speaks up.
I don't even know if she really ever loved
me, Dana… I think- No, I know she used
me to boost her ego after she didn't get
married to Brad. And because I'm too
goddamned stupid, I let her manipulate
me into believing she really loved me. (beat)
I don't know… maybe a couple years ago
she did, but she hasn't really been the same
since we got back from that road trip in Colorado.
I love her, Dana... I can't help it.
Alex… don't you think after so long
and after what she's done, that maybe
you should take that as a sign that maybe
you two won't work out…
It has crossed my mind, but I
don't know how to stop the
feelings I have for her.
You need to meet the right woman.
What if I have and didn't realize it
because I was blinded by the light that is Marita.
I tend to believe in fate and destiny.
If you have already crossed paths with
"the one" and missed her the first time,
if she is your destiny, then you'll be
given that chance again.
Krycek is quiet, thinking about what Scully
has told him.
Earlier, I thought about… bad stuff.
Ending my life.
Scully inches over to him and puts her
arm over his shoulder.
Sasha… you and I both know suicide
doesn't solve problems. You can't run
from your life and it's situations. You
have to face them head on. You have
many friends, and you know you can talk
to me about anything. I'm glad you decided
to talk to me instead of the other option.
She kisses him on the cheek and wipes a
tear off Krycek's face.
You're beginning to sound like me.
Well I wouldn't be here if it weren't for
you and your "words of wisdom" and
your perfect timing and ability to
remain calm and in control.
Good thing we know each other, huh?
It's that whole fate thing, right?
They sit quietly for a few minutes.
I don't know if I ever told you this,
but… thank you for always being
here for me and being my friend.
It means a lot to me.
I know. (beat) Think we should
be getting back now?
They stand up and head back. Scully walks
with her arms wrapped around her waist, and Krycek with his hands
in his pockets.
So… you and John together yet?
No. (beat) Sometimes it feels
like we could be though…
He's a good guy, Dana. I
know you two will… ya know.
They continue walking.
I love you, Dana.
I love you too, Alex.
He puts his arm around her as they walk
back to the apartment.
INT. AIRPLANE - NEXT MORNING - 7:57 A.M.
The whole gang is aboard this flight back
to Washington D.C. Doggett is in a window seat, he's sleeping, his
head resting against the side of the airplane. Scully is next to him,
her head resting against his shoulder and her arm around his waist.
She's sleeping too. Next to her, on the aisle seat is Krycek. He's
asleep as well, his head lying on the tray in front of him.
Across the aisle from these three is Brad,
Monica and Mulder. They are all watching the in flight entertainment:
the morning news recorded from a local TV station earlier that morning.
Suddenly Mulder's head falls forward onto the seat ahead of him. He
fell asleep. Monica and Brad share a look. Brad reaches out and holds
Monica's hand. They both look down at her diamond engagement ring.
Monica lifts the armrest in between them and nuzzles up to Brad and
closes her eyes. He puts his arm around her.
As the plane continues it's journey, Brad
wonders to himself about his future. His life with Monica, what changes
his life will bring him, bad and good, his parents, and about how
happy he is to finally be heading home. He glances over and Doggett
and Scully and smiles. John may not have had Paris the way he had
hoped, but despite some of his irrational behavior, he still had Dana
Scully by his side. Then there was Mulder and Krycek… Mulder forever
oblivious to the problems in his friend's life. Or is that by choice?
And Krycek… a man who will probably forever remain optimistic about
Marita Lynn Covarrubias… Where ever she may be…